Monday was a dud of a day for me. It began with me feeling self-consciously down after a phone call that activated the critics in my head. It continued with news of another teen suicide, a sudden death of a beloved father, and an awareness that hard anniversaries for grieving friends are just around the corner. Then unrest in our family caused unrest in me. Spiraling down, I felt like a bad mom, a bad wife, a bad everything that day.
Have your mind and your heart ever been there, done that?
I woke Tuesday morning to a brand new day. Brightening the rainy drizzle, I put on my “happy pants.” I learned this trick from a long-time friend who wears cheerful colors when she feels down. My hard-to-miss “happy pants” could have been snatched from an episode of “The Mod Squad,” a crime drama running on ABC from 1968 to 1973. Bell bottoms. Wild colors. A big chunky print. While mortifying our teenagers, the companionship of my “happy pants” brings me comfy joy.
Life can be hard and heavy. Separating families. Shocking suicides. Sickness and loss. Painful anniversaries. Perceived failures. Parent/child challenges. Chaotic fears. Crying needs. Critics abound within and around. Life can be very hard. Life can be very heavy.
Jesus notices our need, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out…? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:28-30, MSG).
Learning to dance free and light to the unforced rhythms of grace, my “happy pants” remind me of my constant companion, “I walk and I work with Jesus.”
