Good morning…
Letting go is hard. Leaving gone may be harder.
We let go of last chances, life phases, loved ones we miss. We let go of incessant thoughts, controlling agendas, pre-planned expectations. We let go of our need to know, our desire to direct, our jolting judgement: “You’re wrong. I’m right.”
Letting go of phases, people, and power is hard. Leaving them gone may be even harder.
A tangible example for me is letting go of our devotional manuscript, which I told you about in yesterday’s post The Season of Summer. How many times, after I turned in the Word document at 5:00 pm last night, was I tempted to go back into our collection, to wipe a smudge off the face of a word or to quaff the hair of a phrase that could have looked better? As a writer, I have learned that a typo will be there, a word will be left out, and a sentence will run on. Every time.
As a mother, might I accept similar flaws in the children we are shepherding? As a wife, might I admit I could have loved better? As a friend, a sister, a daughter, might I confess, “There are great opportunities I have let slip by.”
It is hard to let go of smudgy faces, flawed words, and confessed omissions. Leaving them gone is even harder.
Grace. We have been learning a lot about grace this semester. My favorite definition of grace was placed in my heart, somehow, someway, a long time ago. Bubbling up from my soul, grace whispers: “There is nothing we can do to make God love us more. There is nothing we can do to make God love us less.” Smudges and flaws, confessions and all, God’s love for each of us is constant, unconditional, and not dependent upon us.
Letting go of all, we fall into God’s grace. Leaving it all gone, God’s grace expands with ease.
Help me understand these things inside and out so I can ponder your miracle-wonders. My sad life’s dilapidated, a falling-down barn; build me up again by your Word. Barricade the road that goes Nowhere; grace me with your clear revelation. I choose the true road to Somewhere, I post your road signs at every curve and corner. I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me; God, don’t let me down! I’ll run the course you lay out for me if you’ll just show me how (Psalm 119:26-32, MSG).
…Sue…