Good morning…
No one likes to hear “No, you can’t.” It is even harder for us when a “Yes, you can,” turns into a “No, you can’t.” We feel tricked. We feel cheated. We feel angry at the change. Yet, sometimes new information comes on our radar and a “Yes” morphs into a “No.” That’s life.
This “yes” to “no” morphing occurred in our family last weekend. For our teenage son, originally permission was granted by my husband and me, then it was retracted after we became aware of a new concern. Walking the tightrope between supporting our children’s move toward confident independence and filtering out inappropriate influences is difficult. Let’s face it, making an unpopular decision is never easy. I am not sure if we made the right call, but we made the best call we could with the information given.
After my husband and I made our decision, fortunately, a small group of us parents banded together and we all made the same hard choice. Rightfully so, our boys were frustrated. Tension was high. Silent anger lingered. Yet together, we parents did what we felt was right.
I emailed the moms the morning after: “Well, ladies… We weathered this little squall together. Hopefully, us communicating is something we all appreciated. I am so clueless most of the time when it comes to details, but when these new facts were served up on our plate, Steve and I just had to say ‘No, thank you.’ If ever something comes onto your plate in regards to our boys, chances are I am completely unaware of the issue. With my faith in God, I truly believe He has our kids in the palm of His hands, and the He knows exactly what He is doing in growing them up. Actually, I think my trust in God makes me more trusting, more lackadaisical, more hands off as a mom. I trust The Big Guy to bring something to my attention, as in this case, if there is something I need to know. So, please, always reach out to me personally if you have a concern about anything in regards to our boys. Usually my biggest question is ‘Who are you going with?’ When your boys names come up in his answer, my heart is happy and my mouth usually says, ‘yes.’ Hope your boys’ anger at our ‘no’ dissipated also.”
One mom wrote back, “It does take a village to raise these teenagers. Glad we are in this together.”
“I am Lady Wisdom, and I live next to Sanity;
Knowledge and Discretion live just down the street…
Good counsel and common sense are my characteristics;
I am both Insight and the Virtue to live it out.” Proverbs 12, 14 (MSG),
Sue
