Good morning…
Yesterday’s post “Self doubt erodes us,” stepped on a sensitive, common nerve. After receiving a plethora of responses, I sat back amazed at the wisdom flooding my email. I am grateful to each one of you who took precious time out of your busy day to share personal thoughts with me. Because your email outpouring was so huge, I realize we need to learn collectively a bit more about self doubt.
1) If we are good listeners, self doubt can be an important teacher. One subscriber wrote: “My husband lives by these words – only the paranoid survive. I would just keep spinning your faith. We are all limping thru life together.” Our paranoid parts keep us on our spiritual tippy-toes, and when self doubt pays a visit, we look her straight in the eye, asking “What are you here to teach me?” Through my recent bout with self doubt, God is teaching some very valuable lessons.
2) We all have moments of spiraling down into self doubt. Sometimes, our minds play tricks on us and our sense of reality sinks and shrinks into self-centeredness. The rest of the world continues on as normal, but we quietly beat ourselves down into a dark vortex of guilt and embarrassment. One subscriber wrote: “I have no idea which posts you are not satisfied with. They were each wonderful and always have thoughts to ponder. You are such a gift to many.” Another shared, “Sweet Sue. I never saw one typo. Just manna from heaven in the words and messages you craft with God.” And still another wrote, “Aww Sue….I love that you are human! Who wants to look up to someone perfect??? Thanks for opening up about feeling insecure…we all feel that way and your honesty helps the rest of us to feel more “normal”. Sounds like the devil was working overtime on you! Glad you have the Holy Spirit in you to kick him out!!!” When we pay more attention to the self defeating chatter in our brain and less to the fullness of life begging us to play, we disconnect from the LORD and hook our cart to God’s enemy. Being flooded with self doubt can be our wake up call: “Ground yourself again in the unconditional love of God.”
3) Self doubt exposes our striving for perfection. A subscriber wrote: “Just wanted to share something that your email triggered. I have been a perfectionist my entire life. However, once I started bible study and maybe because of my age, I found that if I strive for perfection, then I am showing little faith in God, and that means I think that I am in control. So every day, if things or people or I don’t achieve “perfection” then that means I get an opportunity to surrender control to God again. I need to always check myself and make sure I know who is the most high and the most glorious. It is a constant struggle, but I praise God that His grace allows me to see my weakness and allows me to be forgiven and to strive to be filled with the Holy Spirit and love Him and others as Jesus taught us.”
4) Self doubt connects us to other imperfect people. One subscriber wrote: “I can’t tell you how much I share that push and pull of being all things to all people and keeping that standard you have set for yourself. But just like you said, that is not the standard that God sets for us.” Another chimed in: “You know I think we as women tend to fall prey to these doubts. Amazing how we beat ourselves up over such small things. You help me every day; that my friend is a true Godly gift❣” Still another wrote, “Truly, I am beyond capacity with my own work and with so much to handle emotionally myself and with my family. Even though I hate to do it, sometimes I have had to drop and punt balls too.” Even the highest paid football players on earth punt the ball more than they score, and the most talented receivers drop the ball sometimes. Though we hate to admit this truth, we are imperfect, and we are not designed to be all to all. Only the Almighty can be all to all, all the time, everywhere.
5) The people sitting in front of us deserve more attention than our isolating feelings of self doubt. One seasoned subscriber shared: “When I read your letter, I thought, ‘She is spending wonderful time with her daughter.’ I have a daughter, son, and four grandchildren, all who have finished college and are on their own. Time with all of them is so important and special to me. Time you cannot get back. Stop feeling guilty and keep special memories of your time together – “lesson from a 80 year old woman.” Self doubt calls for an attention shift, off of self pity and on to the special people and pleasures living right before our eyes.
6) When we are vulnerable and share our self doubt, compassionate people offer us grace and encouragement. Listen to your kindness ministering to me: “You are much too hard on yourself! You are a brilliant writer, and I look forward to your words of wisdom every day.” “I hope that you never allow your worth or value to be represented by a certain number of spelling errors or font changes or subscribe/unsubscribe numbers. Please trust that your subscribers love your posts. I look forward to my morning coffee and whatever thought or wisdom you had for the day. Never will I unsubscribe.” “Thank you for your thoughts and teachings. They are very honest and revealing and trigger much thought and contemplation.” “The ripple effect of your devotionals is awe-inspiring – I’m forever grateful for this daily gift.” “You don’t know me, I live in Chicago and I came upon your blog through my old Atlanta friend. You are a gift to me each and every morning. Today’s writing about your insecurities made such an impression on me. Your words are a release for me – knowing that others worry about such things is freeing to the rest of us. You don’t need to worry one minute about how any of your writings are received. We all love and appreciate every single word you write. And, you are a link to God for me and you came into my life at a very good time. I know I need to have my own link to God and I am working slowly on that. In the meantime, your devotionals mean a LOT to me.”
Therefore, thus says the Lord… “If you repent [and give up this mistaken attitude of despair and self-pity], then I will restore you [to a state of inner peace] So that you may stand before Me [as My obedient representative]; And if you separate the precious from the worthless [examining yourself and cleansing your heart from unwarranted doubt concerning My faithfulness], You will become My spokesman. Let the people turn to you [and learn to value My values]– Jeremiah 15:19 (AMP),
Sue