Good morning…

The Mary and Martha story continues to reveal deeper meaning, layer by layer. When Jesus came to the sisters’ home, Mary…sat down in front of the Lord and was listening to what he said. Martha was worried about all that had to be done. Finally, she went to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it bother you that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to come and help me!” The Lord answered, “Martha, Martha! You are worried and upset about so many things, but only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen what is best, and it will not be taken away from her,” Luke 10:38-42 (CEV).

A sentence from my 11.25.15 post, “Balancing our Mary and Martha,” continues to beg for my full attention. “If Mary had taken the love she was receiving from Jesus and graciously offered it to Martha through service, she would have stilled the conflict Martha was feeling and brought peace to the situation.” My curious mind asks: if Mary joins Martha in the kitchen, what is her motive?

If Mary is motivated by listening to the Lord, being encouraged by Jesus to serve alongside Martha, then the experience will be joy filled and mutually beneficial. God’s Spirit will multiply, expanding out from Mary’s listening heart to flavor their entire home. If Mary shifts her focus off of listening to the Lord, trying instead to quiet Martha’s angry anxiety, she is replacing God with a self-destructive god. If Mary is compelled into the kitchen to appease her own guilt or to curb Martha’s rage, then Mary is stroking a codependent relationship.

Wikipedia tells us: “Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person, often at an unconscious level, allows themselves to be constantly manipulated, maneuvered, undermined and controlled by another person. Codependency is an obsessive and extreme form of self-sacrifice… Among the core characteristics of codependency, the most common theme is an excessive reliance on others for approval and identity.”

In this Bible story, Martha is angry at Jesus, “Tell Mary to come and help me!” She is trying to control the situation, barking out orders, manipulating emotions to get her way. Jesus stays calmly centered, holding up a clear mirror: “Martha, Martha! You are worried and upset about so many things.” Martha is too focused on her own to do list, on her own resentment, to soak up the presence of Jesus in her home. In contrast, Mary chooses the one, best thing: Listening to the Lord, above all else.

What is Jesus teaching us this morning as we sit at his feet?
1) Listen to the Lord, above all else.
2) Stay calmly centered on God.
3) Hold up a clear mirror for your upset loved one.
4) Do only what the Lord tells you to do.
These are the most effective ways to resist the powerful pull of codependency,

Sue