Good morning…
If not for the overdose, he would have turned 30 years old today. During his time of remembrance, the father of the deceased young man shared beautiful words of love and encouragement. I will always remember two of his most touching insights.
First, this grieving dad said something like this: “One month ago, my daughter married the love of her life and I was extremely proud to give the father of the bride speech. Today, I am just as proud to give the father of the deceased speech for my son. These are both important milestones in the life of two of my children and I am so grateful to honor and celebrate their lives.”
Secondly, I will always remember this story. After his son returned to Atlanta about a year ago, the father-son pair committed to sharing a weekly meal. Over lunch, his son confided that he was finding it challenging to reconnect with friends and family after living away for years in different states, different countries, different drug rehab programs. His dad astutely said something like this, “Well, it’s like you are a lightening bug. Sometimes the light in your tail is really bright and people are drawn to your contagious joy and your intense loving glow. When your light is on, being with you is amazing, life-giving, energizing. Then, frankly, at other times you go black. We don’t know where you are. We can’t find you in the darkness. We miss you. We fear for your safety. Most people do not know how to relate to a lightening bug. Lightening bugs make us feel too much pain during the dark times. This is the truth: the more consistently you can keep your light on, the more people will trust you enough to come close, to stay with you on your daily journey.”
So many family members and friends, old and new, spoke of this young man learning to keep his light shining brightly, consistently for his final year of life. He became less of a lightening bug and more of a lighthouse. What an immense gift to have pictures from this year’s family wedding to capture forever the healthy, loving glow of a son and a relative, a friend and a brother who had become for many a beacon of hope.
There is a time… for embracing and parting, Ecclesiastes 2a, 5b (CEV),
Sue
