Good morning…
My husband, Rev. Steve Allen, shared a life-giving message during Tuesday’s memorial service, honoring another deeply missed dad in our close-knit community. Steve chose to read what seemed like an “odd” Scripture for a funeral, at first glance. Aloud he read: Jesus said to one who had invited him to a dinner, “When you give a luncheon, a dinner, or a wedding feast do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbours, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous” (Luke 12:12-14). Then he shared the following message with the sanctuary full of family members and friends.
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Memorial Service Message for J Schroeder by Rev. Steve Allen
As the chaplain at the Lovett school, where Maddie just graduated and Alden still attends, it’s been a blessing to me to see not only the Lovett community, but so many of you – doing what you’ve unfortunately been called on to do too many times over these past few years – to walk alongside a grieving family in their time of greatest need. This of course, is what brings us here today – as we gather together to lift one another up – as well as to grieve the loss and celebrate the life of J Schroeder.
I had a chance to spend some time with the Schroeder family as they agonized in the days following J’s being hospitalized. As we stood at J’s bedside and said our goodbyes – the words shared in that moment were some of the most sacred I have ever heard. The words of tribute – the stories that were shared -the tears – even the jokes, many of which I am not at liberty to share in a setting like this. Together they made for – what I can only describe as a holy moment. It was as though God himself was wrapping J and his family in his arms in that very room.
And then in the days that followed J’s passing – I know that many of you continued to wrap this family in your loving arms as you descended on the Schroeder home where you, too, shared sacred moments with this special family. You too told stories and shared memories of a life well lived. You told heartwarming tales of a man deeply loved. You told jokes. You too wept tears of sadness as well as tears of laughter. And what have these stories, these memories, these jokes taught us? What came through loud and clear was this – J Schroeder was a man who lived well, loved powerfully, and was universally adored.
The Bible has a word to describe people like this. In the Hebrew language of the Old Testament these people were said to be filled with “Ruah” – literally – “the breath of God” – and it was believed that this breath moved in and through certain people. It gave these people a force of personality that was so strong – so contagious – so compelling that others were undeniably drawn to them. It made them an irresistible force to be reckoned with.
In the Greek language of the New Testament the word was “Charism.” The word Charism means “gift.” It’s where our word Charisma comes from. People with this charism, accomplished great deeds but they also had the power to move and inspire others – they had an uncanny ability to love and to be loved.
The Bible is filled with stories about people with this Hebrew – “Ruah” – this Greek “Charism.” Their lives changed the world around them for the better. We’ve read and heard about these people over the years, Abraham, David, Moses, Peter, Paul, even Jesus himself were said to possess these qualities. But— this powerful force wasn’t just for the Bible people. In fact, we all know people with this kind of spirit. They’re the kind of people who, when you’re around them, they just make you feel better about your own life.
J Schroeder, I believe, was just such a person. Full of “ruah” – this breath of life. Full of “charism” – a zest for life. I’m not sure I’ve heard of anyone who had more life and more charisma than J Schroeder. Everyone lights when they talk about him.
What I kept hearing over and over again was that everyone wanted to be in his orbit. Jessica and Ally wanted to make their uncle proud. Gary and Lisa were impressed with their brother in law’s kindness and generosity. Maddie and Alden were in awe of their dad who was and still is a superhero to them. Rick was moved by his brother’s friendship and wisdom. Maura was just so appreciative that J had, to use her words, “chosen her.” This is what this “charism” does – not just in the Bible, but in the world in which we live. And J Schroeder had such a “gift.”
And here’s something hopeful for us in the midst of all our grief as we gather here today. The Bible people who had these gifts – their legacy has endured throughout the generations. It’s why we’re still reading about these people thousands of years later. And it’s why I have no doubt that we will remember and continue to live the legacy of J Schroeder in the years to come as well. Because his spirit, his breath will live on in us – his “charisma” will never die.
I want to share one other lasting theme that kept coming up over and over again to me these past two weeks. One of the central metaphors that Jesus often refers to is of a great wedding feast. A banquet. A dinner party of sorts. I read the text a moment ago. When I listened to the stories of J – this one particular metaphor from the Bible kept coming to mind. In the biblical account, Jesus is the ultimate party host and all are welcome to the parties he throws. The gist of the story is this – When Jesus hosts a party, he doesn’t just invite his friends – he invites everyone. All are invited and all are welcomed.
I can’t think of anything that describes J Schroeder better than this because J was the consummate party host. When Maddie and Alden’s friends gathered in the basement or out at the pool – J was there. When dinners were cooked on the Green Egg – 2 Green Eggs to be exact- J was there. When late night feasts and early morning pancake breakfasts were served – J was there.
In fact, perhaps my favorite of these stories goes something like this – Maddie came home one time to find a classmate of Alden’s sitting in the kitchen. It was someone Maddie hadn’t seen at the house before. It was a little odd to see him sitting there all by himself. She asked him what he was doing. He said – “I’ve heard about your dad’s pancake breakfasts and I want to have one.” This is odd – Maddie thought to herself given that it’s 1:00 in the morning and breakfast is still hours away. I guess he’s just going to sit here and wait for a few hours? But as she turned the corner of the kitchen. There was J – the ultimate party host – standing there with a bowl in hand – making up some pancakes so this guy could have a feast.
To me that is perhaps the highest praise a person could receive – To play host to the kind of party at which everyone feels welcome at any time, at any hour. To have the kind of home where everyone feels welcome. To make a meal which everyone wants to eat. To live a life in which everyone feels loved.
As we celebrate the life of J Schroeder may we seek to honor his legacy and be hosts of that kind of party – hosts of that kind of love. Amen.
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Our Bible says it this way: “Keep open house; be generous with your lives” (Matthew 5:15, MSG).
…Sue…
