Good morning…
When I returned from speaking at the Lovett Moms In Prayer kick-off yesterday morning, I came home pondering, “God, what were You really trying to say through me?” As I prayerfully processed a smattering of thoughts, I deepened down into the roots beneath the talk I had just given to a room full of hopeful moms beginning a new school year. These words quietly unfolded on my page.
Before the day of our birth, God knew us, God formed us, and God adored us completely. Now as unique individuals, we each join the psalmist’s grateful rant: I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord! You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place; carefully, skillfully you shaped me from nothing to something. You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book (Psalm 139:14-16, TPT).
These words are true for us as parents and they are also true for each of our one-of-a-kind kids. God knows, God forms, and God adores us all. When the moment is right, babies are born through us into a world of clashing needs and unmet expectations. Right from the start, we as moms have a choice to make, “Will I be my children’s helper?” or “Will I be a witness to the God who is growing up each child?”
I went on to explore the difference between these two styles of parenting.
When we strive to be a helper to our children, we seek to fix, to serve, to please. We see a need, we meet it. We are called to act, we respond. We try to quiet each tantrum, yearning to calm life’s chaos. If God adds more kids to our family’s mix, the needs grow exponentially. As helpers, we can quickly become like the unbalanced “Cat in the Hat,” juggling, bouncing, twirling everything for everyone, every moment of every day.
No wonder we get exhausted.
It is important to remember: there is a different choice. From the moment we conceive, we can trust that God is at work in every person, growing, maturing, expanding. We can become witnesses to the God who is in charge, who was and is and is to come.
We become witnesses to the complex miracle of each unique person. We lean back. We give God time and space to act. We see, we hear, we notice God’s incremental growth. The endless love of the LORD overflows through our surrendered hearts, “God, I will marvel at You as You parent each child. When You see fit, please use me.”
When we parent our children as helpers, we become the focus. When we parent our children as witnesses to God, God remains the primary focus. The Creator of the universe is the rising star in our children’s lives. We are privileged to be supporting actresses, cheering on the God who grows.
It’s not the one who plants or the one who waters who is at the center of this process but God, who makes things grow. Planting and watering are menial servant jobs at minimum wages. What makes them worth doing is the God we are serving (1 Corinthians 3:7-8, MSG).
At the end of our talk, I pulled out the holy book which chronicles the growing life of my spiritual mentor, Betty Skinner, who went to heaven this week at age ninety-five. Betty puts words to this process of witnessing God at work in our ordinary lives. On page 104 of The Hidden Life Awakened, Betty reminds:
“Nothing on the spiritual journey is ever final; it is an ongoing process moving us deeper and deeper. It is a continuous change and movement from what is good (that place where most of us live, desiring to love and serve God) to what is better (an open and intense desire to hear God) to what is best (when all of our prayer becomes service and all of our service becomes prayer).”
Our human nature shouts, “Be a helper to your children so they grow dependent upon you.”
God whispers, “Be a witness to My steady work in each life, deepening dependency upon Me and Me alone.”
It all becomes a matter of trust, doesn’t it? Giving God time and space each day, we are asked to trust the Author of our lives at work. To each and every mother who walks this earth, the crucial question is gradually revealed: “Moment by moment, do I trust the LORD to grow up each child, using my mama heart and my humble hands only as God sees the need?”
…Sue…
