Good morning…
A few weeks back, I went to an art class led by a friend who is also a spiritual director. We were asked to bring along photos to incorporate into a collage. After an opening prayer, she slowly read aloud Psalm 139:13-16 from the Message translation, centering our attention and inviting us to choose words or phases to include in our personalized creations.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.
“You shaped us.” “You know us.” “Inside and out!” These three phases joined the collection of photos of our family from over the years.
The top line of photos captured Steve and me as a young couple. Our first date our senior year in college. Our graduation from The College of Wooster in Ohio. Our wedding as 24-year-olds. Our honeymoon. Our first church job in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
The bottom line included photos with our four kids. Vacations with my family at Holden Beach, North Carolina. A Christmas card photo from our old living room in Vinings, Georgia. Visiting Steve’s brother in Omaha, Nebraska. Our family at Lake Powell in Utah, from one of our three week pop up camper trips out west.
Looking at my creation, I was surprised by a private insight. Unconsciously my collage actually turned out to be about infertility. The two photos running across the midline, one of us hanging out with our husky dog Zeke and the other silly one in a kiddy pool in our Gettysburg back yard, these two were taken during our four year struggle with infertility, which included four miscarriages. I thought to myself, “The bottom line of these pictures from our photo collage would have turned out completely different if we had remained unable to have children.”
Wanting kids doesn’t mean a couple will birth their own children. I truly believe Steve and I would have lived into a fun full future together, but our evolving collage would not have included these four young adults who continue to bless our family. Kyler. Tessa. Adrianna. Jeremiah. I am so grateful that, out of our long grueling years of infertility, God mysteriously granted us the gift of four unique kids. Powerless to bring about my deep deep desire, I am keenly aware it could have gone either way.
My journey as an adult can be reduced to two watershed moments. 1 – When I chose to marry Steve. 2 – When God chose these four kids to be ours.
Driving home with my personalized collage, I thought, “I could give this to Steve as a symbol of celebration.” Today as I wake early on our 35th wedding anniversary, I am drawn back to my creation. I will wrap up this corny framed collage and gift it to Steve as a reminder of our journey through life together. But first, in these dark, quiet moments, I savor memories from our delightful weekend. We celebrating three special weddings in two busy days.
Will and Corinne.
Margaret and Wesley.
Gayle and Erwin.
Right now, I pray that God continues to shape each of these young couples. God knows each pair intimately. God loves these newlyweds extravagantly, inside and out. Over the next thirty-five years, through fertile and infertile seasons, I pray that each of these precious couples thoroughly enjoys the evolving life God creatively collages.
…Sue…
