Good morning…
Today, my dad turns 88 years old. From Atlanta, Georgia to Olmsted Falls, Ohio, I send my early morning “Happy Birthday” wish to the man who most regularly reads our daily blog.
My dad also loves to read newspaper articles, especially ones written by Terry Pluto, columnist for the local paper, the Cleveland Plain Dealer. This week my dad sent me two articles he thought I would enjoy. One about the resurrection, Bruce Springsteen, and finding the light of life. The other about the tomb of negativity and the power of forgiveness. I appreciate the wisdom of both articles.
“Easter morning,” writes Terry Pluto. “My father was in the front seat of the car, his fingers impatiently tapping on the wheel. I was in the back seat, dreading what was to come. As we waited in the driveway, my mother was still in the house – getting dressed for church. When my mother arrived at the car, my father said little. His silence was like a hammer. My mother’s stare was defiant.”
“‘Why can’t you be patient?’ she usually said,” continued the article by Pluto. “My father said nothing. It was so quiet, you could hear a heart break. My father was someone who considered on time to be 10 minutes early. My mother believed 15 minutes late was early enough. They were married for 40 years when my mother died at age 58. They never resolved the late/early disagreement – or several other issues.”
I, myself, am so grateful that my mother did not die at age 58, with so much unresolved. Instead, she will turn 87 in June, and much, if not all, has been graciously forgiven.
The dynamic described above, he 10 minutes early – she 15 minutes late, puts words to the challenge my father and I faced during my growing up years. By God, we were wired quite differently. With our family of five sharing one car and with him an administrator at my high school, during my teen years, he would wait impatiently in the car each weekday morning, while I rushed into the back seat, late and disheveled. Our late/early disagreement pretty much resolved itself when I left home for college. It has taken us many years to work through our “several other issues.”
The Pluto article addresses the concept of forgiveness. “John Kim wrote this in Psychology Today: ‘Forgiveness is a powerful and transformative act that involves letting go of resentment, anger and the desire for revenge. It is not about condoning or forgetting the actions that caused harm, but rather about freeing ourselves from the emotional burden they carry. When we forgive, we choose to release the negative emotions and find a path towards healing and inner peace.”
“Forgiveness is a process that takes time and effort,” wrote Kim. “It starts with acknowledging our pain and the impact it has had on us. It requires self-reflection and understanding, both of ourselves and of the person we are forgiving. It involves cultivating empathy and compassion, recognizing we are all flawed and capable of making mistakes.”
I am so very grateful that my dad did not die at age 58. He and I have been given an extra thirty full years. Both of us have cultivated empathy and compassion. We recognize that each of us is flawed and capable of making and forgiving mistakes.
Much, if not all, has been graciously forgiven.
“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others” (Matthew 6:14a, MSG).
…Sue…
P.S. I look forward to traveling to Ohio this weekend to celebrate face to face with my siblings and my parents. Until then, enjoy your birthday season, dad!
