Good morning…
As our Fab Five friend group was planning our lunch for this afternoon, Jennifer DeShetler wrote: “Sue, has anyone forwarded you Ben’s Facebook post?”
I answered, “No. Please send it on. I always love what both of you write.”
Jennifer shared with me the loving words Ben wrote yesterday about their daughter Audrey, who went to heaven on June 8th, 2025 just before her 20th birthday. Now I share the touching tribute with you.
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Daniel 12:3 “Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.”
It’s hard to believe that we have now been without our sweet Audrey for over a year. I’ve never known grief like this and I’m not sure if we’ll ever be quite the same. We think about our beautiful girl every single day but we know we can’t go back.
We think about all the memories we had together; the Disney trips, Europe, camping, cruises, popcorn and movies, and long road trips with all of us together packed in the car with the dog. We think about the places she saw, the experiences she had, all of the moments we shared as a family, and most importantly, all of the people she touched.
Now the popcorn doesn’t taste the same. The trips feel different. There are only three seats filled in the car. There are just three places at the dinner table. Audrey’s seat is empty, and that emptiness is something we feel every day. Her absence is noticeable with everything we do. We think about her every single day, and now that she is gone, that piece of us is missing.
Scott and I were talking about it last night. He told me, “So much of life is stressful and hard. Even when times were easy and there wasn’t much to do, you could always feel that tension lingering in the background, waiting for the daily grind of life to start again. But when I was with Audrey, all of my stress just melted away and I could just be with her and talk to her and she would really listen to everything I said. I imagine that must of been similar to what it felt like to sit next to Jesus.”
And I couldn’t think of a better way of putting it. Audrey loved those around her and she sympathized with the troubles (great and small) that people were going through even though she had it the worst of us. She always wanted people to feel lifted up, encouraged, and heard. Even hours before her death, she said, “I’m fine, don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” She tried to emulated Christ in all that she was. She indeed, “denied herself, picked up her cross, and followed Him.”
Our faith in Jesus Christ and His promise of eternal life are what keep us going. We hold tightly to the assurance that this separation is not forever, and that one day we will see our Audrey again. Until then, we will carry her with us everday in our hearts, in our memories, and in everything we do.
At the same time, we are incredibly thankful for the people who loved Audrey and made her life so special. To all of her friends, teachers, classmates, and family who surrounded her with love during her time at Notre Dame, Westminster, and Northside, thank you. The impact you had on Audrey’s life means more to us than we can ever put into words. We are so grateful for every friendship, every memory, every smile, and every moment you shared with her.
We are also deeply thankful to everyone who has donated to the Audrey Joy DeShetler Endowment Memorial Fund at Notre Dame. Your generosity is helping Audrey’s legacy continue on and allowing her beautiful spirit to make a difference in the lives of others. We cannot thank you enough.
We love you and miss you every day, Audrey Joy. You will forever be our girl.
Ben
Some of you mentioned that you would like to contribute to the Audrey Joy DeShetler Endowment Memorial Fund at Notre Dame and help continue Audrey’s legacy. You can do so here:
http://giving.nd.edu/DeShetler-memorial
Also, for many of you that may have missed the piece that ND did in Audrey’s memory, here’s the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyDI8XALe8o
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What high praise from an older brother: “When I was with Audrey, all of my stress just melted away and I could just be with her and talk to her and she would really listen to everything I said. I imagine that must of been similar to what it felt like to sit next to Jesus.”
Every day, might we each strive to be like Audrey?
Melting stress for others.
Really listening to everything another person says.
Quietly helping people to feel lifted up, encouraged, and heard.
Living each moment fully present, similar to what it might feel like to sit next to Jesus.
What a bittersweet privilege it is to carry Audrey in our hearts, until the day when we pull up a chair at the dinner table of our Father.
…Sue…
