Good morning…
Before Saturday’s memorial service for a young man who is deeply missed, one of his high school friends did her healing part to share the words on her heart, offering a touching tribute to her three classmates who have died since their graduation in 2017. Here are segments of her loving words.
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We sat in the auditorium together, butterflies in our stomachs and dreams on our hearts. I think back to that moment: I couldn’t wait to cross the stage, to taste the freedom of life after high school, to travel to new places, to meet new people.
Now, (we lack) three of our own, and I have no words. I’m tired, I’m sad, and I’m mad. I’m tired of feeling like this is the norm, that 20 and 21 year olds should be grieving loved ones. I’m sad that this precious life ended so soon for them. And I’m mad because I will never be able to make sense of these tragedies.
And now I wish I could go back…I wish I could go back so that I could remind myself to hold on to the feeling of being together. I wish I could go back and tell myself that these people matter after high school. I wish I could go back to tell myself to hug a little tighter, to be a little more intentional, to love a little more carelessly. But I can’t go back. I am really only guaranteed today.
And I can do a lot with today. I can choose to intentionally answer other people when they ask me, “How are you?” Usually, a subtle smile and a “good” would suffice. But if I’m only guaranteed this day and this moment, then why lie? Why be anyone but myself? I recognize, though, an easy “good” covers up a world of hurt and heart full of struggle. So maybe, I just need to be honest with myself so that I can be honest with others.
As I write this, I still feel absolutely devasted and confused. I think about their families and their best friends. I feel so much, yet at the same time, I am out of tears. I don’t know where God fits in all of this, but I know He is working somewhere. I came across a post on Instagram that reads, “God cannot heal what I will not allow him to touch.” God, I surrender. I am showing you where I hurt, and I pray that you can heal the wounds that we all feel so deeply.
September is suicide prevention month. In a world where there is so much hurt and confusion, I know a few things to be true: love heals. Love changes. Love reveals. Love purifies. Love saves. While I don’t know where my place is in all of this, I know that I can be here to love…This month, and every day for that matter, I will remind myself to love. I will remember that every person has their own story. No matter how a person acts, every human needs love. So be a little kinder and love a little harder…
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God cannot heal what we do not let Him touch. What an important truth for us all to remember. Following in the fingerprints of this brave woman, this very day may we find our own way to humbly say, “God, I surrender. I am showing you where I hurt, and I pray that you can heal the wounds that we all feel so deeply.”
The process of healing whole will gradually ripple out from being honest with God, then being honest with ourselves, before we take the courageous step of being truly honest with others. I admire this articulate young woman who is doing her healing part, sharing love from her heart, so others can feel what it means to be real.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:6, NIV).
…Sue…
