Good morning…
Raise your hand if you have ever been in a “Meal Train,” a group organizing meals after a birth, a death, a grueling medical journey. At least in Atlanta, I would say over ninety percent of the women I know have participated in a “Meal Train” sign up at some point, either giving or receiving love-laden meals.
Last week, I signed up to deliver a yummy meal, so yesterday I bought ingredients, took quality time, and made Stromboli from scratch for the family who recently lost their well-loved dad and husband. Praying for the family as I enjoyed this labor of love, my mind wandered to an email I recently received, an email mentioning the phrase “Meal Train.”
“Dear Sue,” wrote the subscriber who inspired our important post, A Special Kind Of Grief. “Thank you for sharing that article I sent to you with your many readers. It feels as though it touched many and hopefully helped those who are going through the pain and suffering of addiction and mental illness. I have been thinking a lot about how isolated this disease makes you. Not only the family dealing with a loved one but also the addict themselves. My isolation began early in our daughter’s disease when she went to her first rehab in high school.”
She explained in more detail: “People talked about our daughter in hushed whispers, gossips talked about her behind our back, parents would not let their children be with her for fear that their child may ‘catch’ the same disease. There were very few people I could talk to about this nightmare we were living. Occasionally, we would stumble into people that belonged to this ‘secret’ club that no one wanted to be a member of. We found comfort in each other finally finding someone that you could talk to and that got it. When my husband I were brave enough to talk to our friends and family about the situation and the crises we were in – we found some that embraced us and some left us because they did not know what to say or how to handle it.”
Here is the statement I recalled while I cooked: “Any other disease that my daughter could have had, people would be organizing a “Meal Train,” sending cards, calling for updates or even starting a Caring Bridge page. But Not Addiction. The disease of addiction has symptoms that most people just do not know how to handle so they isolate you. And then you isolate yourself because it is just so damn exhausting. As a parent, these symptoms you experience are just the same for the addict as well. Shame, Fear, Anger, Blame, Depression, Disappointment, Grief and Stress to name a few. My husband and I were isolated from family that did not understand, we were isolated from our other children because we so focused on the addict, we were isolated from our friends and at times we were isolated from each other. We were afraid to go out for safety reasons, traveling was out of the question and so we stayed at home in the fear which was a very lonely place.”
Then she revealed a turning point: “We finally made it to an Al-Anon program and found immediately unconditional love, support and acceptance. It was a ‘no-isolation zone.’ Finally, we were in a safe spot surrounded by those who shared their stories of strength, love, and hope. And so the healing began. Suddenly the isolation began to lift. SO as we work the program daily, Step 12 tells us to take this message to others which I know is a perfect medicine for isolation. And you, Sue, are a wonderful messenger through your Blog.”
She concluded her email: “By the grace of God, our daughter is clean now, but I know it is still one day at a time. Thank you, Sue, for bringing this disease out in the open and helping so many. Love you.”
“I love you, too,” I replied, “and the life-giving honesty you share. You may find these words rippling back to your inbox anonymously one early morn. The article you sent from the mom who lost her son to an overdose, in addition to the words you share in this email, will expand God’s healing power in more ways than we will ever know. Thank you, my friend.”
Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law (Galatians 6:2, MSG).
…Sue…
