Good morning…
“Sweet Sue,” a mom wrote to me yesterday. “While I absolutely related to yesterday’s post very well, today’s title got me right in the gut. I really didn’t have to read anymore. Your timing. God’s timing. My son was in the Greek Village yesterday at the University of South Carolina when the student who took his life was discovered, who was a friend of his. The university quickly started posting the tagline ‘you are not alone’ on social media, and students followed, including my son, who rarely posts anything.”
She went on to say, “I wish I could send my son your husband’s sermon from Nick Marshall’s memorial service, when he challenged all boys/men to communicate their feelings. The student was in the same fraternity with two young men from families we both know. These Atlanta guys are the fraternity president and the vice president. Those boys have a big job ahead, and tragically this is obviously not their first rodeo being close to such a devastating loss. Prayers to all today and the days ahead for words and actions of comfort to come and for those in the dark to find at least a ray of light. All the best to you and thank you.”
“I am so, so very sorry,” I wrote back right away. “Oh, what heartache. So much heartache reverberates for so many torn apart by these impossible to comprehend tragedies. I will ask Steve for his message from Nick’s service and will forward it to you, then you can send it along to your son. What do you think about the possibility of me sharing this experience anonymously with our online community, revealing the devastation ripples of these tragic losses?”
I went on to admit: “I love that God chose this title for yesterday’s post, as it ties into the truth all grievers need to hear most, ‘We Are Not Alone.’ I first titled the message ‘I Am Not Alone,’ but right at the end, before I pushed send, the Spirit nudged me to change it. Now I see why. ‘We Are Not Alone’ is such a bonding, strengthening promise from God. I am praying for you, your son, and this entire community of grievers.”
Quietly she responded, “Of course, share anything and thank you for tracking down Steve’s message for me. And thank you for your prayers.”
Later in the afternoon, I forwarded Steve’s message from 2/12/18, shared from the pulpit in honor of a Lovett graduate who took his life as a freshman at the University of Virginia. Here is the section of the sermon this mother is referring to.
“I say this to all of us, men and women, young and old, but let me speak for just a moment, as a guy,” I remember my husband saying. “I want to call out to you – my fellow guys – perhaps with a little more urgency. Guys we don’t talk or at least we don’t talk much about things that matter – about matters of the soul. Studies have shown guys talk less, share less, emote less, express less. We laugh and we goof, we bust and we play video games, we compete and we party but what we need now and then is to talk to one another. What we need now and then is a community that deals in matters of ultimate meaning and significance. And even if you’re not a talker, and I get that, I beg you to find a community, a church, a Bible study, a small group, Young Life, find a place to be a part of, where you can be cared for and equipped to deal with the difficulties and challenges that this life is sure to bring us all. A place where you can be reminded – that you have a God who loves you and wants you to sing a New Song – here and now in this life – in this world.”
I also remember Steve reading the Scripture verses dog-eared and underlined in the Bible of Nick Marshall, Psalm 40:1-3.
I waited patiently for the Lord, he inclined and heard my cry.
He lifted me up out of the Pit, out of the Miry Clay.
He set my feet upon a rock.
He made my footsteps firm.
I will sing a New Song –
May these verses become reality for the grievers of these life-altering losses. Together, may we sing a New Song of honest expression and deep hearted connection. Here and now. In this life. Sharing God’s healing love with our hurting world.
…Sue…
