Good morning... Before leaving our final gathering of the semester, she gave me a tender hug, handed me a small paper bag, and softly said, "You came into my life at just the right time." Standing beside her, I pulled from the flat, brown bag one simple, organic-looking card bearing rudimentary typing. Our hearts nestled together, breathing in the [...]
Good morning... Now is about the time when those grieving the loss of our friend Julie are tempted to slip into deep despair. This situation will never change. She is never coming back to us. The high of celebrating her life has dropped down into the relentless ache of physically missing her. One friend who lost her brother way [...]
Good morning... The night before the memorial service, I had an intense dream. It was like I was traveling through an invisible, physical barrier between earth and heaven. I felt as if I was in one of those airplane movies where people hold on for dear life and their faces contort in unimaginable ways as they fight through strong, [...]
Good morning... The scheduled speaker reached out to me, asking if I would be a part of Tuesday's Lovett Moms in Prayer gathering, a group Julie Harlan had helped to facilitate weekly since her oldest son was in kindergarten. She emailed: "It should be a morning of celebrating our sweet Julie with prayer and you were so close to [...]
Good morning... "Telling my boys that their mom had gone to heaven Sunday was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in this life," wrote Chad on Julie's Caring Bridge page yesterday, "but they, like me, cling to the peace and comfort that they will see their mom again and get to be reunited with her in heaven. [...]
Good morning... My friend's daughter fell in love and is planning a June wedding. I was drawn to a strange mother-of-the-bride gift. A small hardback book about a missing cat (my friend loves cats), the death of a mother (my friend misses her beloved mom), and what wisdom we learn from seasons of loss. As she prepares for her [...]
Good morning... He and his wife watched Manchester by the Sea and they found themselves discussing it at length that night and into the next day. Later, he wrote me: "For some reason I'm reminded of a poem by W. H. Auden that so stunningly expresses the terrible stage of grief where one is inconsolable. It's Funeral Blues, which [...]
Good morning... She read aloud another favorite quote: "And then it felt as though these thoughts came across to me in a prayer: 'Walk on with empty hands, because I have so much more to give you in the future, and you can't receive it if your hands are full. Don't be afraid that in letting go you are [...]
Good morning... A mutation is a a sudden departure from the parent type, the act or process of changing, an alteration in form or nature. A variation or evolution. A modification or transformation. Grief forces a sudden departure from the "parent type" of our old, cohesive normal. The messy process of change rudely interrupts our routine agenda. Our very [...]
In talking with grieving friends this week, I see so many variations in the way people respond to the messy mutant forms of missing. Some cry uncontrollably, others cannot shed a tear. Some isolate in a self-made cave, others feel compelled to remain regularly in touch. Some slow their pace to sense sorrow and joy intermixing, others avoid feeling [...]
