Life Feels Crooked
Good morning... "When life feels crooked, I guess there is strength in leaning into old habits," I texted my friend. "Lifting prayers in the Northside Church prayer chapel, a thin space connecting earth and heaven. Sending you divine love to bridge every gap." I lit a single candle, praying for those who are grieving, those who are scared, those who are lost, those who are hurting, those who are tired, those who are [...]
This Poem Helped Me
Good morning... I have been texting with a friend who is making a very hard decision. "I woke up thinking about Tate," she wrote. "And the unwanted space in your house. I am so sorry, Sue. I haven't called because we are heartsick and stomach sick. I feel God is guiding us to memory care. We are crying out to God in the awful angst of feeling there is no good decision. We [...]
Dear Loved One
Good morning... "I thought of you and Audrey’s family when I read this and just wanted to share," an old friend wrote. Received in the midst of a challenging week, God's timing was perfect. ******* Dear Loved One by Sean of the South, June 18th This is weird. I realize this. But I wanted to write to you, dear loved one. Namely, because I’ve been dead for some time now. And the way [...]
Tate Is In Heaven
Good morning... Allowing our nine-year-old, cancer-riddled dog to go to sleep at the vet's office yesterday, I trusted that Tate woke up immediately in heaven. Until this image came in from my golden-retriever-loving friend, I did not feel, in my every cell my being, the full force of God's resurrection power. What joy! What intimacy! What eternal oneness we share! Your decisions are always fair. They are firm like mountains, deep like the [...]
Tears For Our Dog
Good morning... I open my journal to read what I wrote as I took a long bath yesterday. ****** Our precious dog Tate has been battling inoperable cancer. For several weeks her eyes have adopted Audrey DeShetler's motto for living, "Just one more day. Give me just one more day." Until today. Today her eyes are saying something different. "I'm tired. I'm ready. Will you release me to heaven?" How hard it is [...]
Known. Seen. Loved.
Good morning... "I was just thinking,” yesterday I texted our Fab Five friend group, a group that has supported the cancer journey of the DeShetler family for the last fifteen years. “Jesus was on earth for 33 years, and, Jennifer, I wonder if our Father missed his son’s presence in heaven, like you are missing Audrey on earth.” I continued, “In my heart, heaven and earth are so intertwined. We are never really [...]
Note To Audrey’s Mom
Good morning... As we stood in the hallway of the funeral home yesterday, waiting to join the family for a private viewing of Audrey in her open casket, my friend showed me the new screen saver on her phone. I snapped the precious photo above. A fun memory from an earlier day. Pink. Smiling. Relaxing. Together. What a wonderful way to celebrate friendship with Audrey. The morning had begun with a text from [...]
Memories Of Audrey
Good morning... This week, I have communicated with so many of you about Audrey and the DeShelter family, through text, email, zoom, and face to face. Your messages of love have been so precious. I find it an honor to collect our written words in a single post. May you enjoy reading about the strong web of love enveloping this inspiring child of God. Just saw the FB post about Audrey. So many [...]
Still As A Stone
Good morning... In yesterday's summertime Zoom book study, our conversation was rich and enlivening. The word "stone" stood out as a symbol to remember. In The Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence writes on page 37: "As for my set hours of prayer... Sometimes I consider myself there as a stone before a carver, whereof he is to make a statue; presenting myself thus before God, I desire Him to form [...]
My Parents’ 65th
Good morning... The full moon peeks through our window pane, piercing through the trees, partnering with the dark of night. I catch a glimpse and am drawn outside. Wet grass. Bare feet. A perfect pairing on my parents' 65th wedding anniversary. I have returned to Atlanta, Georgia, with special memories lingering from my nine day visit with my family in Ohio. A creative cake. A four-inch binder full of fun photos from over [...]
My Mom And Audrey
Good morning... I woke yesterday in Ohio on my mom's 87th birthday. Her part-time helper snapped a few pictures of us before we shared her birthday breakfast in their villa and opened her birthday cards and gifts. After the simple celebration, I opened my computer and up popped a reminder: "Audrey DeShetler's birthday." Sure enough my mom and Audrey share the same June 9th [...]
Audrey’s In Heaven
Good morning... Around 3:00 pm yesterday, from Jennifer DeShetler our small group of friends received a text. "Audrey just passed." Then privately she wrote me. "Who is the pastor on duty?" "I will ask," I replied. "Will get back to you." "Please asap." I connected her to Dr. Bill, our head pastor at Northside Church. Soon after, I read the Facebook post written by Audrey's big brother, Scott (seen smiling a week ago [...]