Good morning…
Our Friday class began by giving updates on our prayer concerns. The basement space in our home, where we gather for class, has lovingly been called “a womb with a view,” as we circle up in the presence of God, week after week, important things gestate in the hiddenness of our soul. Then last night I received the tender image above from one of these friends, Joan Alexander, who recently spoke to us about “Unwrapping the Gift of Soul Friends.” I totally agree with these droopy little girlfriends holding hands. Good friends help us to find important things when we’ve lost them . . . things like our smile, our hope and our courage.
Joan’s daughter-in-law Elizabeth, who is journeying through treatment for advanced colon cancer at age 37, writes often in her blog about the importance of good friends. Elizabeth’s words of wisdom from this week help us feel important things.
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Excerpt from Elizabeth’s PostHope blog on April 13th
Holy week touched my heart and soul in new ways this year. As I ponder what Jesus did on the cross for us and as I ponder my own mortality, the juxtaposition of the heaviness of Good Friday and the joy of Easter morning is particularly beautiful. I loved what Sarah Bessey said about Holy Saturday:
“The older I get, the more I need Holy Saturday. It used to simply be the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
But now: it’s the day for those of us still waiting. It’s the day for those of us who didn’t get the miracle, who live in the space between Now and Not Yet. It’s the day for the company of those with unanswered prayers and broken hearts and realities different than what was advertised.
God waits on our Saturdays with us.
Love is here in our Saturdays of grief and loneliness and anger and loss with infinite tenderness and unconditional love and sufficient grace and holy presence. Your Saturday is real. Just because Easter is coming eventually doesn’t mean this doesn’t matter.
May you know and experience the love of God in the Saturdays of what we hope is an in-between.”
I love thinking of the Lord’s infinite tenderness as we continue to navigate the waiting place. A dear friend sent the kindest note in the mail this week, and she reminded me of this scripture: “Consider the lilies of the field..But if God so clothes the grass of the field, will He not much more clothe you?” I can rest in His love and care for our family.
I really struggled last week as I sat in my chemo chair and thought about all the families I knew who were having staycation adventures or taking big trips around the US and the world over their spring breaks. We had such a nice mountain weekend, but it wasn’t lost on me that we had to head back for doctors appointments and chemo. We’ve had to put all big adventures on hold. There are days where my heart feels angry or feels like this is unfair. But God in his mercy continues to sit with me in the hard places. In the places where I mourn the loss of the life before November 9th. Last night, Graham and I took a walk around the block and sat under the stars in our front yard. Through tears, I expressed to him how hard it is to be the sick one, the one who’s put everything on hold, the one with all the emotions, the one who slows us down, the one who walks in a room and brings a cloud of heaviness. His tenderness to me in this moment was profound. He looked at me and said, “This is what our family is doing right now. We are taking care of you.” His ability to be steady in doing the things that we need to do right now to, Lord willing, bring my broken body to a better place continues to amaze me. He bought tickets for us to go to a concert in September. We hope to be able to attend and enjoy music outdoors, one of our favorite things. If we can’t go, that’s ok. I’m learning so much about how to hold plans loosely. There is a continual letting go. So many things have had to be let go for us right now.
…Two dear friends from growing up stopped by for visits. These are people whom I’ve known since we were babies. I treasure time that I get to spend with friends right now. I took Caleb to the park on Tuesday by myself. This may seem trivial, but it was a huge deal for me. It felt so sweet and normal to sit in the sand with him, push him on the swing, watch him zip down the slide. I also made it to Joseph’s tee ball practice. Y’all, 5 and 6-year-olds playing tee ball is an absolute hoot. At one point, they were practicing base running, and as the children finished their turn, they lined themselves up and were all crouched down in the dirt playing and tossing dirt around. At another point, a little boy passed a little girl as he was running the bases. One little girl was playing short stop, and she suddenly started running the bases. My mama heart felt so very full to watch these precious kids playing so hard. It’s difficult not to get emotional as it is such a delight to get to take part in these moments with my kids. I pray I get many more of these moments. I’m here today, and I’m fighting to see the beauty and joy of today, not sitting too long in the fear and uncertainty of tomorrow.
We continue to be humbled by all of the love that we continue to receive. I cannot imagine what a dark place I would be in if not for the sweet presence and prayers of so many.
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Whatever circumstances we wake up into today, God waits with us on this spring Saturday. Kindly living through the eyes, the touch, and the voice of our good friends, God continually reminds: “Love is here in our Saturdays of grief and loneliness and anger and loss with infinite tenderness and unconditional love and sufficient grace and holy presence.”
Good people are careful about choosing their friends (Proverbs 12:26a, ERV). Savor the importance of choosing wisely, since so much of what feels lost in life can be found in the loving presence of our good friends.
…Sue…
P.S. For those who requested a copy of the playlist of songs Joan shared at our Women’s Lenten Lunch and Learn, here it is. May these songs become like a good friend, helping us to muster courage, to engender hope, and to smile deep and wide.
Soul Friends Song List (March 22, 2023)
You’ve Got a Friend, Carole King, James Taylor
I’ll Be There for You, The Rembrandts, Theme from Friends
Count on Me, Bruno Mars
Stand by Me, Ben E. King,
With a Little Help from My Friends, The Beatles
Reach Out I’ll Be There, Four Tops
Angels Among Us, Alabama
That’s What Friends Are For, Dionne Warwick, Elton John Gladys Knight
You Raise Me Up, Josh Groban
Lean on Me, Bill Withers
He Ain’t Heavy — He’s My Brother, The Hollies
Friends, Elton John
