Grief Happens. Mourning Is A Choice.

Good morning…

Up in the middle of the night, I prepare to facilitate a four-week study of Ron Greer’s new book, The Quiet House. Reading slowly, I savor Ron’s first six reflections on the loss of a spouse. Real. Gentle. Nurturing and authentic. Enjoying each word, I sense God’s presence. I have often said, “If God had a voice, it would be Ron Greer’s.” Deep. Strong. Soothing and supportive. Ron has been a beloved pastoral counselor in our community for years, and God has guided many of us toward deep healing through the calming voice of Ron.

What book excerpt might I share as a small taste? I prayerfully ponder. I try to choose wisely.

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Excerpt from The Quiet House by Ron Greer, page 25-26

Let me pause to make the distinction between grief and mourning. Grief is the painful, emotional reaction to loss. We have no choice in the matter. Life hits us with the sorrow, and we double over in pain. That’s grief.

Mourning is giving a voice to that pain. Mourning is intentionally letting it out. Mourning is openly expressing our grief.

Grief is not optional. Mourning is – and it is wise to opt for it. Grief is felt intuitively with loss. Mourning is intentionally choosing to engage and express pain. Grief involves saying goodbye. Mourning, then, involves tears. Lots and lots of tears.

Mourning requires courage. We wisely engage it. We courageously engage it. The life ahead can only be accomplished by looking squarely into that agonizing emotion that comes with every major loss.

“Give it a voice” is the way I have encouraged mourners over the years. Have courage to feel all that you feel and express it. Give it a voice. Openly. Bring it up from the depth of your heart and let it out.

Cry it out.

Talk it out.

Write it out (for those who journal, and I encourage it).

It has been said, “First you cry. Then you cry some more.” Yet tears come in different forms. They may come down our cheeks or in emotions spoken to a precious friend or in words written in a journal in the early morning hours. Each expresses our grief. Each promotes healing of the heart. Each can be avenues of our mourning.

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For a loving young mom shepherding two preschoolers without their daddy on earth, for my dear friend waking this morning on the ninth anniversary of her husband’s passing from his own journey with brain cancer, and for these courageous eight women who will gather in a friend’s living room tomorrow afternoon to study Ron’s book, mourning is a choice.

Loss is unavoidable.

Grief happens to all of us.

Will mourning become our personal choice?

As we wisely choose to mourn in whatever way feels right to us in the moment, God slowly, slowly, slowly heals us whole. And so my harp is tuned to the key of mourning, and my flute is pitched to the sound of weeping (Job 30:31, VOICE).

…Sue…