Good morning…
Well. Your cascade of comments over the past twenty-four hours has been fascinating to me. Popping though the soil of our online community are a plethora of profound perspectives. As I sit back and witness God growing a gorgeous garden among us, I see four life-giving take-aways written in our collective handwriting.
1. We all make growth-producing mistakes in the trenches of everyday living.
“Dearest Sue… We all make mistakes. I personally do not see your post as a mistake. Just a moment to share a beautiful story. As a mom and wife, I make mistakes daily. When I realize them I always try to own them. It seems you do to. Mistakes make us human.”
“As I read your post, Mistake, Mistake, Mistake, I was reminded how God redeems us in all of our broken places and relationships. I have loved the Button story as it speaks to so many in how we must first listen to God and then respond to His words. He is in the midst of our lives in the best and worst of life’s circumstances. We are human. We are not God. What I love is that He loves all of us even when we are disgruntled.”
“I have a feeling Betty’s button story will speak to so many people, especially those that are in the trenches of marriage, raising children, trying to not completely lose who they are in the process of meeting the needs of those around them. As a counselor once said to me, “most often people divorce the wrong things in their life.” We can often place all our frustrations on our spouse, and they might legitimately be the cause of many! But, so will anyone else be it spouse or parent or children or friends. Only the Lord can fill the deepest of needs and help us navigate this life that can seem to demand more than we have to offer. Praying this day for Betty and her family and for the example of perseverance in the hard places and the power of Spirit to equip us as God shapes and refines us.”
2. We hold different perspectives on each so-called mistake.
“Your post today worrying about mistakes made in yesterday’s post (you didn’t make a mistake!) makes my heart hurt and can you please change the title of your post from Mistake, Mistake, Mistake to something else, because your post yesterday spoke to me so powerfully that I have ordered the book The Hidden Life Awakened to read as soon as possible.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. Clearly, Bryant did nothing wrong in your story and was in NO WAY portrayed poorly. He did what he had done for years and what was the custom in their marriage (and era for that matter.)”
“What a wonderful post you wrote yesterday. That button story moved me so much, it really got into my soul. Your post yesterday really showed me that even people who walk with God struggle and search for ways to see things better. In your post today you say you pondered with God about what made Him want to share that button story through you. Well, it was to reach me. And, I bet it reached many others, too. So, your post yesterday wasn’t a mistake, it was a blessing from God to me.”
“Your message yesterday was exactly what I needed to put a personal struggle into a God-centered perspective. Doing a loving act for God, not the other person, was just the paradigm change I needed. I truly believe that we cannot solve a problem with the same mindset which created it. I am sorry for your disapproving text. However, I hope fear of offending others will not cause you to stifle your messages in anyway. You have helped me in more ways than you will ever know. Maybe that text was God’s gentle way of strengthening you to deliver more bold messages from Him. I see no mistake on your part. Please keep these messages coming, Sue.”
3. When we make ourselves vulnerable, we step into the stream of differing perspectives.
“Welcome to the club. When you put yourself out there – sometimes people can take your words however they want. You did a nice job sorting through it all. Love to talk about it this evening.”
“Your graciousness, the insight and peace that you offered was stunning to me. Absolutely stunning. God blessed you as you (quite innocently, in my opinion) walked into a hornets nest and now extend love and grace to the hornets.”
“There is always value in hearing two sides of any story. It seems like that is a problem in the world today. Only one side is ever considered and people/the media run with that perspective. There is always more to the story and another side to consider. We have lost that aspect in society. I appreciate you sharing this and addressing your discomfort with this situation and how you resolved it. I love you sharing your authentic self!”
“I don’t believe God wanted you to get that text any more than I did. But I do believe He can make something beautiful out of our mistakes and this quote comes to mind for me personally: ‘Before you speak, ask yourself is it kind, is it necessary, does it improve upon the silence?’ I think we can both answer yes to that. You are a true servant sharing God’s word to so many and making yourself vulnerable. I know you open yourself up for judgment every day when you bare your soul and I don’t want you to ever feel that from me. As I have said so many times, your words are truly a daily gift.”
4. When we risk being real, we walk through every emotion with God.
“Betty’s story has helped so many and is an honest expression of her feelings. I have grown to love Betty from afar through your studies, the great “Awake To Wellness Women’s Retreat” you guys put together, and their Hidden Life Awakened blog. I believe that someone else that read your post was helped. Maybe that individual will open up before depression takes over.”
“I love the button story! As you know, it’s about so much more than a button. The button could be a sock on the floor, or a dish in the sink, or something much more significant. But the button represents the expectation, the daily give and take of a marriage, of a relationship. It represents total commitment to an imperfect being and the act of living together, staying together, growing together. It also speaks to humility and pride, forgiveness, acceptance. Thank you for not being afraid to expose the real raw and human emotions we experience each day.”
To sum it all up, one of you wrote: “Sue, I’m sorry this person hurt you. I’m pretty angry because you are very sensitive and make yourself really vulnerable to all of us by being so transparent. I know the text wasn’t supposed to go to you but that makes it even worse. I don’t think I could have responded with the grace that you have. I hope only good things happen to you today.”
With a smile I responded, “There is no chance that only good things will happen to me or any of us on any given day. Everyday life is both good and bad, sunshine and clouds, day and night. When we let ourselves patiently walk through our every emotion with God, we don’t get stuck in the bad, the clouds, the night. That’s a gift God is using Betty Skinner to teach us. I am eternally grateful.”
The steps of the God-pursuing ones follow firmly in the footsteps of the Lord, and God delights in every step they take to follow him (Psalm 37:23, TPT).
…Sue…
P.S. I think I will take your creative suggestion and use question marks instead of periods in yesterday’s post title, “Mistake? Mistake? Mistake?” Remember the wisdom we recently learned together? Questions are more life-shaping than answers.
