Good morning…

Waiting on God’s timing gradually strengthens our hope.

Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing that he would become the father of many nations. For God had said to him, “That’s how many descendants you will have!” And Abraham’s faith did not weaken, even though, at about 100 years of age, he figured his body was as good as dead—and so was Sarah’s womb. Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God (Romans 4:18-20, NLT).

While struggling through four years of infertility, it bothered me that God never promised us children. I yearned for that promise. I begged for that promise. I waited and waited and waited for that promise. With all of my heart I hoped to be a mother, but God never promised me that I would have kids. God did make that promise to Abram, whose name was eventually changed to Abraham (which means “father of many”). In Genesis 15:5 (NLT) we are told: Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!”

Now I think back over my lifetime to ponder, “What promises has God made to me directly, and how did those promises come to me so clearly?”

  1. When my husband and I broke our wedding engagement for a brief time to clarify if we were really meant to be lifelong partners, I had an angel appear at the end of my bed after taking a long, hot, sorrow-filled bath. I sensed God’s clear message to me: “Your future will hold joy, with or without him.”
  2. Nearing my graduation from graduate school and my walk down the wedding aisle, I wrestled with God, “How will I ever be a good wife and a good therapist?” At a spiritual retreat a vision woke me in the middle of the night, a vision of clay chalices stacked in a tall, expansive pyramid. As I watched in my dream, from above the chalices to the right came a large pitcher, a pitcher that began pouring red wine into the stationary top chalice until it was filled to overflowing. I sensed God’s clear message to me: “If your cup remains stable beneath My outpouring, My love will fill you then overflow to fill others, who will overflow to fill others, who will overflow. In this way, I will spread My love through you, if you stay cleaned out and still beneath My bottomless pitcher.”
  3. Four years into our marriage, we decided it was time to start a family. Enduring four, painful years of infertility, I felt impotent, powerless, unable to make my childhood dreams come true. As I journaled beneath a tree on a weeping walk in the forest, I surrendered completely to the will of God for my life. I sensed God’s clear message to me: “If you have children, you will be happy 95% of the time and the other 5% of the time you will wonder, ‘Why did I ever want kids?’ If you do not have children, you will be happy 95% of the time, and 5% of the time you will really miss children.” (I am serious, the percentages given were as clear as day!)

These three spiritual experiences happened in a span of nine years, between my twenty-third and thirty-second birthdays. As my own dreams and timing felt out of sync with God’s, the LORD solidified my hope in what I could not see. Today, I pray that my life might look like the bookends of the Scripture above: “Even when there was no reason for hope, Sue kept hoping…In fact, her faith grew stronger, and in this she brought glory to God.”

And this hope is what saves us. But if we already have what we hope for, there is no need to keep on hoping. However, we hope for something we have not yet seen, and we patiently wait for it. In certain ways we are weak, but the Spirit is here to help us. For example, when we don’t know what to pray for, the Spirit prays for us in ways that cannot be put into words (Romans 8:24-25, CEV).

…Sue…