Good morning…
“Last month, as the 20th anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting approached, STEM School Highlands Ranch joined hundreds of schools near Denver in closing temporarily amid security concerns,” reports a New York Times article. “The anniversary came and went, and schools returned to their routines. But on Tuesday afternoon, the STEM school’s worst fears were realized when nine of its students were shot, one fatally, and two fellow students were being held as suspects.”
“How can students shoot students?” I wake in the early hours to ask God point blank.
In silence I sit and wonder. I silence I sit and pray. In silence I sit and ponder. I am drawn back to our book from this spring semester, Sue Monk Kidd’s When The Heart Waits.
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THE EGOCENTRIC EGO pages 52-53
The ego is the part of us with which we identify. It’s “the executive of our conscious personality,” writes John Sanford. A strong ego, aware of its boundaries, is crucial to wholeness and healthy functioning…
The problem arises when the ego becomes egocentric, an unavoidable human condition. As we attempt to adapt to and protect ourselves from the wounds and realities of life, we each create a unique variety of defense structures – patterns of thinking, behaving, and relating designed to protect the ego. These egocentric patterns make up our false selves (covering over the True Self implanted in us by God).
Throughout life these ego structures progressively harden…and thereby cutting the ego off from the Self. As a result, that vital connection with the True Self cannot be fully made. Jesus referred to this condition as hardness of heart (Mark 8:17).
…in order for the ego to relinquish its central position, (our) hardened structures must be cracked open. This process opens a way for the gradual shift of centers, a deep restructuring away from the ruling needs of the ego toward the Self, or the core of God within. In Christian language, this is plain, old-fashion surrender – giving up our conscious will and striving, and yielding instead to the inner kingdom. The soul-work involved in this internal restructuring is, I believe, the deepest meaning of spiritual becoming.
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How does this book excerpt help to answer the question living on our hearts the morning after, “How can students shoot students?”
Might it be that the two suspects have hardened, egocentric egos, originally built to self-protect them from old wounds and harsh realities? These egocentric patterns, their defensive thoughts and behaviors, form their false self. Hardening, hardening, hardening, they gradually cover over the seed of their True Self implanted by God within them. And Jesus, aware of this, said to them… “Are your hearts hardened?” (Mark 8:17b, ESV). With their hardened self-centered ego cut off from their authentic Self, the vital, life-giving connection with our Creator is lost and surrender does not happen. Hard, hurting people can hurt other people.
Call it mentally ill. Call it criminally insane. Call it premeditated murder. Hard, hurting students can shoot other vulnerable students.
Then Jesus made a circuit of all the towns and villages. He taught in their meeting places, reported kingdom news, and healed their diseased bodies, healed their bruised and hurt lives. When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd. “What a huge harvest!” he said to his disciples. “How few workers! On your knees and pray for harvest hands!” (Matthew 9:35-38, MSG).
…Sue…
