Good morning…
“You’re really on a role this week,” said the heading of her email. Being “on a role” is different than being “on a roll.” I thought about the difference.
When we are “on a roll,” we effortlessly flow down hill, naturally picking up speed as we go. When we are “on a role,” we root ourselves in a calling, we give the gift that is ours to give, we speak into the need crying out in front of us. I feel grateful to be “on a role” of writing each morning, sharing with our written word community insights inspired by God.
“Your posts are always what I look forward to each morning,” she wrote, “but I feel like God is really inspiring and pushing you this week to reach out to many who are depressed. Some might have a tendency or genes wired for depression. Some have lost loved ones to depression or suicide, which then causes depressed feelings in those left behind. Then there are those like me who worry about my kids falling into the traps of addiction and depression that I all too often hear about. Thank you for allowing yourself to be a vessel that God uses to pour wisdom, knowledge, hope and healing into our community.”
Following Saturday’s funeral, she had emailed me her anxious thoughts.
“Sue, how do we protect our kids from these awful situations?” she asked. “I pray daily that God will give my boys the wisdom, strength and courage to say no to drugs and that He will comfort and guide them and prevent them from becoming depressed and that He will raise them up from discouragement. But Sue…I feel like any one of these kids I read about could be MY kid and that these kids had parents praying over them as well. That’s when the even bigger worrying begins…..God, please protect our children.”
“Your questions are so heartfelt and real,” I replied. “Many of us are wondering similar things, how do we protect our unique kids as they go out into this challenging world? I guess the deepest truth is terrifying: we really can’t protect them. We can pray for them long and hard. We can listen when they want to talk. We can hear them, see them, really hear and see them, for who they are truly becoming, not who we wanted them to be. We can live lives we love as an example that fullness of life is possible. We can surrender their care and our worry into the loving presence of God, but we parents can’t protect our children from bad things, poor choices and the treacherous parts of our mixed up world.”
“So, I guess we keep praying,” I touched the truth. “We listen. We hear. We see. We love our lives. We surrender our selves and each one of our kids, whatever their age, to the loving presence of our living Lord.”
“God’s protection is so different that we might concoct it ourselves,” I concluded. “Invisible. Eternal. Higher, deeper, wider than our minds can fathom. Darkness is like light in the eyes of God, and both now and forever are seamless in God’s reality. So we cannot understand the mysteriously mighty protection God blankets upon each one of us every day. Do we cozy into God’s incomprehensible care or do we try to fight it off, pushing ourselves to survive on our own limited strength? In the long run, I am not sure it matters. The Creator of the universe chooses to dwell with us, and we and our kids can’t get away from the powerful Love that never leaves us.”
Even as we walk through the depressing valley of death, we are not alone. Our feelings may tell us otherwise, but God repeatedly promises, “I am with you.” Even if I am afraid and think to myself, “There is no doubt that the darkness will swallow me, the light around me will soon be turned to night,” You can see in the dark, for it is not dark to Your eyes. For You the night is just as bright as the day. Darkness and light are the same to Your eyes (Psalm 139:11-12, VOICE).
In seasons of dark depression, for ourselves or our loved ones, our only hope is to quietly roll downhill into the pain at one with the God who really hears us, really sees us, really loves us in every shade of darkness.
…Sue…
