How Our True Self Grows

Good morning…

Our book for the semester is fascinating. Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram To Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self by Marilyn Vancil offers mind-blowing wisdom, stretching us in intriguing, new ways. Join me now as we ponder an amazing “seed” analogy which tangibly describes the interaction between our Adapted Self (the self to lose) and our Authentic Self (the self to find).

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Excerpts from Self to Lose, Self to Find by Marilyn Vancil

Get ready for a brief biology lesson here. As a seed forms from the mother plant, an outer coat grows around the tiny embryo to cover it until it germinates. This covering is called the seed coat and is made of the same biological material as the plant but in a different form. In favorable conditions – like fertile soil, enough water, and the right temperature – the outer seed coat will soften, open up, and make room for a sprout to emerge and grow into a plant. The seed coat serves the important role of protecting the seed so it will survive and have a chance to be fruitful. However, the protective cover is not the real seed. It will fall away when it’s no longer needed and will turn into compost that provides nutrients for the growing plant. Jesus spoke of this when he said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit” (John 12:24 NASB).

Applying the illustration to our lives, the seed coat represents the strategies we adopt early in our childhood to protect our tender hearts. These play an essential part in our human development to assure we survive and flourish. They are not wrong or sinful. It’s when we depend on this outer covering for our identity and meaning that we have a problem. This “seed coat” becomes the false self, the Adapted Self – an illusory and empty shell that we will desperately cling to because we don’t know who we are without it. This is not the God-created self but a masquerading version of it. It’s what we need to shed in order for our Authentic Self to emerge. (p. 14)

Basically, the fruit of our made-up persona is self-centeredness, self-reliance, and self-protection. Sound familiar? Yeah, to me too.

Although we can become entrenched in the habits and beliefs of this Adapted Self, there is enormous power in recognizing the self for what it is. When we can admit the reality of this false persona – or seed coat – then we are able to let it soften and loosen its grip on us. When we confess the inadequacy of the Adapted Self to meet our needs, then we can make room for the Authentic Self to show up and grow into the fruitful person God initially had in mind. As long as we believe that we must prove ourselves worthy of esteem, that we must ensure our own security, and that we must maintain control, God’s transforming work will be limited. (p. 20)

Just as a sprout grows up when the seed coat softens, roots also go down into the soil to establish a firm hold and receive nutrients. In the same way, by relaxing our Adapted Self, our roots will go down into the love and presence of God as the foundation of our being. In so doing, we will find that living as our true, God-gifted self will bring us the fulfillment, freedom, and connection we so long to experience and express. (p. 21)

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Right now, for me, one sentence stands out from all the rest.

“As long as we believe that we must prove ourselves worthy of esteem, that we must ensure our own security, and that we must maintain control, God’s transforming work will be limited.”

Letting go of our need to prove, to secure, to control, we shed our self-protective coating, when God’s time is right. Allowing our old, self-centered covering to fall away, we relax the habits of our Adapted Self. We soften. We open up. We make room. As our Authentic Self emerges – sprouts, blossoms, multiplies – God’s transforming work thrives in our daily lives.

To grow our True Self, our Monday class concluded: “We let go to let God.”

…Sue…

P.S. After yesterday’s meeting with the the surgeon, I got this text from my dad: “We have great news! Your mom’s surgery has been set for 2/23 at 2:30 pm. We are both looking forward to this!” Thank you for your continued prayers as my mom loses her need for this darn colostomy bag.