Good morning…
I hate to disappoint people. I lose sleep over perceived mistakes. I feel most at peace when those around me are at peace. I am only as happy as my most unhappy loved one. Is this some personalized form of co-dependency, God? Why do I attach my cart to the perception of people instead of securely anchoring my whole self to You?
This attachment issue I see in myself is not a good one. Too often I can get hooked like velcro to the shifting emotions of others. At the same time I am still stuck with this undeniable fact: I can’t control how other people feel. Heck, I can’t even control my own emotions. Someone else’s feelings? Forget it. Choices I make can impact and influence, ingratiate or infuriate, but I simply can’t control the feeling forest set ablaze my best laid intentions.
So, God, what do I do?
In prayer, I take time to examine my muddled mass of strong emotions. I journal out my feelings, pouring them out to their last drop. I dig down into my deepest truth: I live 100% of the time in the grace of God. There is nothing I can do to make God love me less and nothing I can do to make God love me more. God’s love is totally different than any human love. Other people might love me less or love me more based on things I say or do, but God’s perception of me never changes. God is my only constant Source of unconditional support.
Everything good comes from God. Every perfect gift is from him. These good gifts come down from the Father who made all the lights in the sky. But God never changes like the shadows from those lights. He is always the same (James 1:17, ERV). So when I get tossed recklessly around by the shifting sands of fickle feelings, the Spirit within me lifts a red flag, signaling my surrender. From the end of the earth I call to You, when my heart is overwhelmed and weak; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I [a rock that is too high to reach without Your help] (Psalm 61:2-3, AMP). And the living Christ accepts me just as I am. Christ shares the endless love of our Heavenly Father: Jesus Christ is [eternally changeless, always] the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8, AMP).
As I wake from a long night of inner wrestling, I open up Biblegateway.com. Today’s verse-of-the-day is refreshingly new to me. It feels like God’s loving prescription for this moment, handwritten just for me. God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them (Hebrews 6:10, NIV). I truly try my best to love God by helping his people and continuing to help them day after day. Yet my main attachment can never be to people, even to those I love the most, my main attachment must be to my God, the Rock higher than I, the shadowless Light, the living Christ, eternally changeless, always.
…Sue…
