Good morning…
I woke early in Kitty Crenshaw’s gorgeous guest room on Sunday. Everything was so soft, so simple, so serene. So I made some coffee, puffed up the pillows, and cozied beneath the covers to visit my notes from the day before. Several pages held my handwriting, capturing timeless truth Betty Skinner had effortlessly brought up from her gut, through her heart, and into her brain, before the Spirit of God came out of her 93-year-old mouth. I filled in some words I had missed as I madly scribbled, and I underlined keen insights most significant to me. For an hour I prayerfully played with my newborn notes, hoping Betty’s wisdom would somehow begin to grow up in me.
Then it happened.
As I got out of bed to watch the sun rise, I accidentally knocked my nearly empty coffee cup onto Kitty’s white, white carpet. Suddenly a stunning stain saturated a big swath, like brown on rice. Impeccable instantly turned imperfect.
“Oh no!” my mind gasped. “Kitty’s home is so peaceful, resting in artistic order. Now I visit for two nights and I ruin her pure white carpet?” I was so mad at myself. So mortified at my mistake. So so angry at my awful accident. Then the inner critic beating me up quickly shifted into action.
There was no time to waste. I immediately got to work. Searching through the dark house for towels, I sopped up some of the stain. Then frantically I found my way to Kitty’s laundry room and rummaged through the top cabinet to discover some carpet cleaner. I grazed the instructions and tried to do what they said. Round after round, I tried to do what they said. Again and again, I tried to do what they said. Much of the mess came out, but not every ounce. A stain was still visible, no matter how hard I tried.
I was sweating from my rubbing, scrubbing workout when I reentered the laundry room for a second time to dry the wet white towels I had bleached in my guest room sink. I noticed something new. Next to the washer was a framed quote I had missed the first time in my frantic frenzy. The words slowed me down, calming my crazy.
“Whatever God brings will be exactly what you need.” – Betty Walthour Skinner
Whatever God brings will be exactly what I need? This coffee stain on white carpet was brought by my clumsy carelessness, not by the Creator of our universe. But somehow could God transform my messy mishap into exactly what I need?
I escaped onto the back porch, crumbling beside the quiet companionship of the St. Johns River. The sky was thick, grey and cloudy, hiding the light of the rising sun. We sat with God in silent reflection, the river, the sky, and me.
As soon as Kitty woke I said, “I have to something to show you.” Walking her back to the guest bedroom, tears tinted my eyes as I apologized, “I am completely mortified. I knocked over my coffee and stained your white carpet. I am so sorry.”
Without skipping a heartbeat, she hugged me big and God’s abundant grace flowed. “Don’t worry about it,” she said (and I could tell that she meant it). “I’m really good at getting out stains. How else would I ever have the nerve to install all-white carpets? You make yourself more coffee and enjoy the view from the porch. I will work on the stain and join you in a few minutes.”
I did just that. I made another mug of coffee and retreated to the porch. Tears wet my cheeks as my mind horribilized some more. How could I be so stupid? What if Kitty loves me less? Might I never be invited back to experience more blessing?
I stopped my spiral down by joining Kitty in the guest room. Sitting crosslegged beside her on the floor, I marveled at her mastery. She told me stories of her childhood caretaker, a woman much like a second mom who taught the art of stain removal and so so so much more. When the time was right, Kitty said, “Okay, let’s let it rest. I’ll work on it more later.”
We made avocado toast with slices of fresh tomato and shared breakfast on the back porch, debriefing about our meaningful day with our dear friend Betty and pondering details of the upcoming “Awake to Wholeness” women’s retreat we are hosting in Atlanta next March. Kairos time took over and everything vitally important happened all at once.
I hate being flawed. I hate making mistakes. I hate messy mishaps staining my life. But maybe, just maybe Betty Skinner is right. When I needed it most, God brought me the gift of grace through the skin of Kitty Crenshaw.
Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! (Ephesians 2:8-9, MSG).
God’s kind gift of grace embodied in loving people. Isn’t that exactly what we all need each and every day?
…Sue…
