Good morning…
Regrets ruin. The unsaid undermines. When the moment is lost, so is the opportunity. As spring fades to summer, my unsaid regrets linger. I have lost an opportunity.
I feel convicted to say “I am sorry” for two things this spring.
First, in March, I went on two spring break trips back to back. One week to the mountains of Colorado with my husband and our two youngest kids. The next week, I went with my college freshman and her friends to Destin, Florida. They needed someone over twenty-five to make their rental reservations (I surely fit the bill) so I went and cooked homemade meals and shepherded the group through their spring break adventure. Both weeks were tremendous, but I had pre-programmed my “sue2you” messages and I did not have access to responding while I was away. So I came home to a plethora of touching emails from many of you, and, though I responded to some, I did not respond to all. I kept thinking I would. I kept wishing I would. I kept hoping I would, but I didn’t. I am sorry if you wrote to me heartfelt words and, in response, experienced my silence. I try to reply to most all of your emails, especially those that ask a question or share a personal story, but those two weeks I fell woefully short, and I truly apologize.
I also want to say “I’m sorry” for all the birthday thank you notes I did not write. So many of you showered me with such love during my spring birthday season. Cards with loving words and surprises at my front door. Jewelry and red wine. Fresh cut flowers and potted plants. Special oils for cooking and sprinkle lights in a jar. A delightful breakfast, lunch, or dinner at “our restaurant” and a large take-out order of chicken salad from our favorite spot. Journals of various styles and uniquely personal symbols of friendship, feelings, and faith. Writing handwritten thank you notes? I kept thinking I would. I kept wishing I would. I kept hoping I would, but I didn’t. I am sorry if you gave me a kind card or a special gift and I said “thank you” in the moment, but did not follow up with a note.
These two spring regrets, words unsaid and gratitude unexpressed, have ruined my settled peace and undermined my complete joy. My lack of response to you personally may have also ruined your peace and undermined your joy. I know that a less personal expression is clearly less satisfying, but I truly want to say, “Thank you for all of the beautiful ways you add love to my life.”
So I never stop being grateful for you, as I mention you in my prayers (Ephesians 1:16 (CEV).
…Sue…
