Good morning…
“I have been wanting to confess my sin of plagiarizing your work,” she wrote to me this summer, “and also to thank you for being the vessel that brought me a message at a much needed time.”
She continued: “In April, my beloved Grandmother passed away at 95. I know we prayed about her over our Monday morning meditative meetings at your home. It was a long life, and she was an interesting in woman for many reasons. She was not a sweet-ole-granny like many describe their grandmothers. She was tough, she was hard, she was often sharp, but I adored her.”
She explained further: “Before she passed, she asked me to give her eulogy and I found myself struggling with how to capture her with honesty. During those last few weeks of her life, I received one of your daily messages and it had a message that beautifully described her. I used some of your words and inspiration in her eulogy and it was perfect. I hope you don’t mind. Thanks for bringing me the words.”
She proceeded to share with me her Grandmother’s funeral message and she gave me permission to plagiarize my favorite of her sassy stories.
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A Grandmother Remembered by Brin Black
In the dark recesses of her attic, I discovered a box of old pre-WW2 pictures. The few photos I found of her, prior to marrying Pop, were gorgeous black and white photos of the stunning brunette – with long legs and a sexy smile. Grandmother was usually sitting on the lap of a faceless GI. Yes, truly, faceless. Grandmother had literally taken scissors and cut out the face of every man who may have existed in the past, but kept those pictures of her beauty, laughter and long legs, tucked away for no one to find. I was fascinated by this. Why remove the men? Why not keep the memory in its totality?
I found my answer after a painful break up at age 22. Grandmother summoned me to Macon for a sweet tea luncheon to discuss the split. Upon arrival, we sat together, and enjoyed a lovely lunch filled with sterling silver goblets and her immaculate table setting. After lunch, she announced she had a lesson for me and pulled out a needle and yarn and proceeded to try to teach me needlepoint. “You are growing into a woman now, and it is time you learned about filling voids,” she said. She went on: “I have made a life for myself by knowing how to fill voids. When someone leaves my life, I create something, keep my hands busy, and fill that void with something else.” In that moment, as I feebly attempted to learn needlepoint, I recall thinking to myself how silly an exercise. I knew that becoming an avid needlepoint artist was not in my future and it seemed to be such a negative take on the rollercoaster of life. And, in that phase of my life, I certainly didn’t understand how any voids could be filled by sitting at home.
But a funny thing happened … her words stuck with me. Shortly thereafter I chose my own version of “filling the void” and I proceeded to spend the next decade moving to California, NYC, and traveling around the world. Ironically, it was during those years when Grandmother seemed most confused by my life choices, seeing as making a beautiful home filled with crystal and needlepoints was more what she had in mind to fill my voids, not this travel.
It wasn’t until later in my life that I realized the value of her version of filling life’s bucket, with creating a life right where you are, in the here and in the now. Of breathing in family, and home, and being someone comfortable in your own skin.
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My friend’s story makes me think of my own Grandmother. She also “was tough, she was hard, she was often sharp” and unfortunately she died before I learned to adore her. But I do think of her each morning as I take a Q-tip from the hollow of a heavy, marble container, a container much like the one I admired as a child in my Nana’s spacious, private powder room. Sometimes the impact of our “tough, hard, sharp people” softens as we learn to fill the voids right where we are, in the here and in the now, breathing in family, and home, and being someone comfortable in our own skin.
Can’t you hear our non-sweet-ole-grannies borrowing the words of Paul? You know how I have worked with my own hands to make a living for myself and my friends. By everything I did, I showed how you should work to help everyone who is weak. Remember that our Lord Jesus said, “More blessings come from giving than from receiving” (Acts 20:34-35, CEV).
…Sue…
