Good morning…

At times, we must let go to grow. This fact is hard but true, we need to let go of much loved people and priorities all along life’s way. Growth can be the byproduct of making difficult decisions.

Recently, my fourteen year old son learned this tough truth personally. After going to summer camp for the past six years, he decided to withdraw from the Leader In Training (LIT) junior counselor program. As he looked closely at his summer calendar, he saw conflict after conflict. Envisioning to the summers ahead, he saw more commitment conflicts. After many long talks with his father and me, the day after he made his decision to withdraw from his LIT position he crafted the following email to explain himself to the person in charge of the upcoming leadership training weekend.

“Hi this is Jeremiah Allen,
I have been going to camp ever since the first year I was old enough and I have loved it every year. I am sad to say that I will not be able to come back this summer as an LIT, to many conflicts with academics and athletics got in the way, I am very sorry I would have loved to have been able to come back this year and I will really miss camp.
Thanks,
Jeremiah”

He asked, “Mom, how does this look? Should I change anything?” If I had had my editorial cap on, I might have responded, “Put a comma after ‘Hi,’ and one after ‘enough.’ Put a period after ‘LIT’ and after ‘way.’ Put another ‘o’ on ‘to,’ another period after ‘sorry,’ and another comma after ‘year.” Instead, I said something like this, “Honey, your letter is just perfect. It lets them know that you have loved camp so much and that you will really miss being an LIT this summer. You were honest about your conflicts and, just like all of us, you had to make a hard decision to let go of something you have loved for years. I admire the way you went about making and taking responsibility your decision.”

Often times, our choices are not between good and bad; frequently, our choices are between good and good. I learned this lesson many years ago when I was studying how grapes grow best in the vineyard. Vine dressers, in the right season, pluck off perfectly good grapes from a cluster, thinning out the number of grapes hanging on a branch. The grapes pulled off and discarded are no better or worse than the grapes left to grow. The thinning out process just allows more nourishment to flow from the vine, through the branch, into the remaining grapes, allowing the maturing grapes to expand lush and large.

My prayer is that my son, with the help of my me, my husband, and the Holy Spirit, will continue discerning which people and priorities to keep alive on his branch and which people and priorities to gently pluck off and discard when the time becomes right. The thinning out process occurs all through our lives, and we do well to prayerfully make and take full responsibility for our difficult decisions.

When they came to the valley of Eshcol, they cut down a branch with a single cluster of grapes so large that it took two of them to carry it on a pole between them! They also brought back samples of the pomegranates and figs. That place was called the valley of Eshcol (which means “cluster”), because of the cluster of grapes the Israelite men cut there, Numbers 13:23-24 (NLT),

Sue