Good morning…
This virus exposes our bitter truth: stuck in this together, we are all aging dogs forced to learn new tricks. For the first time in my life, I am making room for Zoom, a virtual event where one person hosts a meeting and multiple participants communicate through the computer screen.
With many of us working from home during this season of social distancing, the church hosted our first Pastors and Directors meeting by Zoom. I self-consciously stayed cornered in my little box on the screen, muted, overwhelmed, overstimulated. With my weak and shaky internet connection, people’s lip movements were not in sync with the sound of their voices. Choppy, abrupt pauses were very distracting. When it was my turn to report in, connection cut out. Twice as I tried to speak, the bond blipped away. To me, Zoom felt foreign, fumbling, frustrating. Walking and talking with a friend later that afternoon, I debriefed from my discombobulation. I heard myself say, “I don’t even like the word ZOOM. It reminds me of other four letter words: RUSH. FAST. PUSH. HARD.”
Later I noticed my heart brainstorming kinder four letter words. Feel. Find. Fill. Feed. I pulled out my phone and texted myself. Soft. Seek. Sort. Save. The gentle words kept coming. Less. Look. Live. Love. Still more tumbled out. Make. Mold. Move. Mend. The list grew long. Grow. Give. God’s. Gain. The list grew longer. Home. Help. Hope. Heal. The final words formed. Care. Cozy. Come. Calm. With these simple spurts of expression, I gradually worked my way back to peace.
A few days later, for my birthday, two friends invited me to join them on Zoom to share a happy hour glass of wine from our separate homes. Again, the computer connection was choppy, lips and sound felt out of sync, but I was lifted by the love of my dear friends. Along with its curses, I felt the burgeoning blessings of Zoom.
Then yesterday, I voluntarily tried Zoom again. I signed up for a virtual meeting with a spiritual mentor. Author of a deeply soul-shaping book called Journey With Jesus, Larry Warner was hosting a group from his California home. I was one of the one hundred and twenty spiritual directors from across five continents joining the late afternoon online gathering. I nestled into our basement closer to our router to strengthen my computer connection, and Larry’s calming face and voice seamlessly filled the screen. He shared a tender teaching before dividing us into small breakout groups to answer this question, “In the midst of this worldwide pandemic, what is the one word best describing your soul right now?”
In our group of three, one stranger said, “Unsettled.” The other said, “Focused.” I described my own soul by saying, “At home.” We each elaborated a bit on our answers before joining Larry and the large group again. Then we peacefully popcorn-ed descriptors from all over the globe. “Angry.” “Inconvenienced.” “Out of control.” “Surrendered.” “Vulnerable.” “Hopeful.” “Anxious.” “Turmoil.” “Fearful.” “Numb.” “Lonely.” “Restless.” “Weary.” “Missing hugs.”
Larry asked, “Amid all of these words, what do you hear?”
After a prayerful pause, one woman said, “We are all processing this pandemic differently, but together we paint the picture of the full human experience.” She was right. There is a deep connection in our differences, and what one person feels now, another may feel later. We are all spiritual beings having a disorienting human experience. This third time through, Zoom brought to life the raw, the real, the restorative.
After our seventy-five minutes together, I walked upstairs and plopped down on the couch. “I feel overwhelmed,” I told my family. With so many struggling, alone, afraid, I needed a few minutes to rest before cooking dinner. I had to sit, feel, think, process, putting the oxygen mask on myself and breathing deeply. Gradually my soul returned to “At home.”
This virus exposes our bitter truth: stuck in this together, we are all aging dogs forced to learn new tricks. In one short week, I experienced the healing potential of Zoom.
We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity (2 Corinthians 10:5, MSG).
…Sue…
