Good morning…
Waking on the day we would celebrate the brief, full life of Chris Kimbel, I was thick with intense emotions. The service of healing from the night before left me in a state of ongoing prayer for our friend battling bladder cancer, and news of another longtime friend losing his job abruptly weighed heavy on my heart. Deep needs were tangled up inside me. Talking with a ‘soul friend’ over the phone first thing in the morning, she said, “Notice your breath. Sue, just let yourself breathe naturally. Notice how it feels to just breathe.”
For the first time I realized I was holding my breath. Beneath the weight of this week, I was barely breathing. Her gentle voice was filled with the grace of God as she led me through a simple breath prayer. Breathe in: “I”. Breathe out: “am here.” Breathe in: “You, God”. Breathe out: “are here.” Breathe in: “We”. Breathe out: “are here.”
Her voice slowly guided me through again. “I……….am here.” “You, God………..are here.” “We…………..are here.” My breath calmed, relaxed, deepened. “I……….am here.” “You, God………..are here.” “We…………..are here.” The tight tension I was holding began to melt into tears. “I……….am here.” “You, God………..are here.” “We…………..are here.”
After a few moments she said, “I have another breath prayer for you. This one might take a bit longer to sink in, but that’s okay. I’ll repeat it twice.”
In: “I see myself as a mountain.” Out: “I feel solid.” In: “I see myself as water.” Out: “I reflect things as they are.” In: “I see myself as space.” Out: “I feel free.” Before repeating again this novel prayer, she asked me to notice what word might rise to the surface. In: “I see myself as a mountain.” Out: “I feel solid.” In: “I see myself as water.” Out: “I reflect things as they are.” In: “I see myself as space.” Out: “I feel free.”
Space. This word rose up. Space. In the center of my tangled heart, I sensed the opening of space. Space to breathe. Space to be with the God who knows, who sees, who loves us all. Space to feel free, held, at peace.
“Thank you for heightening my awareness of God’s presence within me,” I said before leaving the important phone call. “I will take with me the peace of spacious freedom as I gather with others to celebrate the vibrant life of Chris.”
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you (2 Thessalonians 3:16, NIV). A fresh insight dawns. We, as humans, do not possess peace. With every breath, we are given peace by the Lord of peace himself. At all times. In every way.
Moment by moment, might we open up space in our tangled heart to breathe in the peace of our living Lord?
…Sue…
