Good morning…
“Did you read Sue’s devotional? I thought it was unfortunate that she chose an unflattering story about Bryant Skinner after his death,” read one text that came into my phone after yesterday’s post.
Oh no. I felt dread. Self-doubt. Embarrassment. What had I written that could be seen as unflattering? Had my prayed-over words been a horrible mistake? I poured over yesterday’s post, a post written to honor my 93-year-old friend Betty Skinner on the day she laid to rest 96-year-old Bryant. After re-reading, I still loved Betty’s button story. It whispered to me of God’s redeeming love.
I sat and pondered. Then pondered some more. After a while I sent this return text: “I love your text. It shows so beautifully how we perceive things differently. In the button story, all Bryant did was hang his shirt on the bedpost. Everything else that happened occurred in Betty’s words from her own mind, a spiral down that drew her deeply into the love of God. I find this story inspiring, that God has grown Betty over the past 50 years from a place of depressed anger to the freedom of God’s pure love. Our broken parts might look unflattering to some but God grows beauty in our broken places in such magnificent ways. Bryant and Betty gave one another space and time to grow up into their whole, true selves. This process is not always pretty but it is always life-giving, a gorgeous gift from God.”
A while later she texted back: “Hi Sue. This text was meant for someone else. My honest reaction was loyalty to the family and I saw how easily that story could paint Bryant as insensitive and rude – I guess that risk is run sharing very personal details as Betty did in the book. Since this was Bryant’s death, however, I felt he doesn’t get to defend himself – we just hear Betty’s side and it wasn’t the most flattering example. The kids love both Bryant and Betty and would likely prefer happier memories at this time. I truly know that you didn’t mean harm Sue. My reaction was just protective of the family. I hope you understand. By the way I love the picture on the post, it sums up different perspectives. Both good.”
I briefly responded: “Thanks for your wisdom. Your inside scoop helps me tremendously.”
I thought about our text exchange all day long. God, first off, why did You allow me to craft a message that might be perceived as a harmful mistake? Was I not listening to You? Was I blinded by my love for Betty and my admiration of Your redeeming love expanding in her life? Secondly, why did You allow this challenging text to come to me rather than the intended recipient? If You, God, are in life’s glitches, what purpose do You have for this double mistake? Would You please teach me what I am to learn and how I am to grow?
I sat amid these questions for a very long time. I went to sleep on them. I woke up to them.
Now slowly and tenderly I am drawn back to the words from yesterday’s post to personalize them for myself: “Then the little inner voice said, ‘Sue, let Me tell you something. You are not forming words for Bryant or Betty or blog subscribers, you are forming words for Me.’ God was saying to me, ‘Get your attention, get your focus, connect with My love,’ and it spoke powerfully to me.”
Right now I am experiencing the same truth Betty experienced through her button story: “In the strain we find our strength in Him.”
Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do (Romans 14:1a, MSG).
…Sue…
P.S. I shake my head at myself. Another mistake. In rereading Bryant Skinner’s obituary, I realize that I got the date of his service wrong. Next Thursday, the 28th, is his celebration of life. So now we have more time to VIEW OBITUARY and continue to pray for this faith-filled Jacksonville, Florida family in their season of significant loss.
