Good morning…
Yesterday I told you about My Nasty Nightmare. Recently, my nightmare actually came true.
As many of you know, my husband and I were given the privilege of visiting our oldest son who is ministering to college students in Brisbane, Australia this year. A two week trip to sightsee with him through Australia and New Zealand promised to hold once-in-a-lifetime blessings. The biggest challenge for me was pre-scheduling fourteen days of morning posts before leaving for the airport, a big task which touched my lingering fear, “What if something horrible happens and my pre-programmed words do not support subscribers in the midst of sudden sorrow?”
Horrible did happen eight days into our trip. In Queenstown, New Zealand, we woke to an “all-caps” text message from our oldest daughter: “PLEASE CALL RIGHT WHEN YOU WAKE UP.” Around 6:00 am New Zealand time we called to learn that one of our son’s close high school friends had died suddenly, unexpected, without any warning. Immediately I emailed his mom and my husband texted his dad.
My mind reeled: “But God, he was just standing in our kitchen savoring homemade Stromboli the week our son left for Australia in July. He talked to me candidly about a sermon he had heard while filling the room with his boisterous joy. He lived larger than life, how could he be dead?” In January, my son and his friend had just turned 23.
My nightmare had come true. My pre-programmed posts would not light a candle in this deep, deep darkness. I tried for a few days to write new morning messages to override those scheduled, but words did not flow through my frozen disbelief. I tried and tried, but words did not come. Finally, my son said, “Mom, your subscribers will understand if you write about being away, experiencing this terrible tragedy, and posting about it when you get back. On the right day, your message will be honest and real, and your subscribers will understand.” My fearful nightmare lost her power as I let myself fall into the grace of God provided through our wise son.
The three of us being together to process this abrupt loss became a beautiful part of our travels together. Our “full of life” friend had been a part of my maddest mommy moment, and he was also the first to profusely apologize. My husband coached him as a wrestler and my son was his teammate, so awesome memories linger from the long, grueling days spent with his parents in high school gymnasiums. His mom and her twin have shared quality time in Bible studies in our living room; I deeply admire these two women who have thrived through the overwhelming pain of their past. Their second son and our first daughter, now each 21, were in the same graduating class so they also share good, common memories. For the rest of our trip, stories of our friend and his family laced our long drives.
As we returned from our incredible trip, Atlanta felt emptier to me. I was filled with the realization that I will not receive one of his huge, happy hugs until we are reunited in heaven. It somehow feels fitting to form with my fingers homemade Stromboli for his family tonight.
He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me (2 Corinthians 12:9, AMP).
…Sue…
