Good morning…
Waking groggy from too much of everything, I see in the corner of our room one simplifying symbol. A small mirror, surrounded by a mosaic of heavy, broken pottery, reflects the natural light. A cross of driftwood pieces quietly rests above the mirror. Through the center of my broken parts, might the light of Christ still shine?
I drank too much; I feel like crap. I ate too much; I feel like a chubby-cheeked balloon. I hoarded too much; I feel exhausted by my excess. My heart argues with my mind, “What in the heck are you doing? Why choose too big? Too much? Too often?”
A Bible verse I happened upon happens to come back to me. My heart and mind are fighting each other; call a truce to this civil war (Psalm 25:17, MSG). God, please rise up from deep within to call a calming truce.
Let me sink into surrender.
Help my heart and my mind to rest at peace beneath the healing power of you.
Now the inner voice of my spiritual mentor repeats her sound advice: “Sue, the Big I must die.” Again. And again. And still again. Jesus must become more important, while I become less important (John 3:30, CEV). My Big I must die, bit by bit, each day.
Waking groggy from too much of everything, I see in the corner of our room one simplifying symbol. My true self is made to reflect the light of Christ. One decision at a time, Lord, empower me to choose small instead of big. Less instead of more. You instead of me.
…Sue…
P.S. This morning I catch God tending our common ground. Arriving in my inbox at 5:01 am, today’s morning message from Henri Nouwen is entitled “Not Me but God.” Coming in at 5:59 am, the weekly devotional from Ignatius House Jesuit Retreat Center is entitled “Put on Christ.” Then at 6:00 am, Katie Bowler’s weekly Summer Blessing Series arrives. Here is her conclusion with God as she wrestles with her own civil war.
God, let my stomach grumble and I eat.
Let me be delighted and I laugh.
Let me tire and I rest.
Give my heart peace as today
I am here
surprising myself
as the storm rages on.
Amen.
