Good morning…
My inbox was inundated after yesterday’s post, I Was Just Trying To Help. Often we are blind to the ways our “helping” hurts. I will share three email exchanges fleshing out our tendency to addictively “help” without God’s consent. Why do we think we are a better savior than our Savior?
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Martha’s comment: “Oh Sue what a beautiful post. I shall keep this in my “one day at a time…help for my co-dependency” wisdom writings. It is such a guide into grace and out of the grip of well intended, misguided responsibility. Into graceful being and participation of “the other”. And…this picture of a safe separation between your dogs expresses the message your words convey. Thank you for penetrating our hearts so that God can sneak in and saturate us.”
My response: “Hi Martha… Thank you for you loving encouragement. I am learning so much about the importance of healthy boundaries, me doing me well, the best I can do each day. The only place where I have any power is me trying to do me well daily, with Holy Spirit help. Apart from God, my controlling nature takes over and I try to “help” in ways that eventually hurt. It all boils down to me and God, “Am I letting go of my fearful attempts to feel comfortably in charge to allow His higher ways to take form in my life?” Moment by moment, I am designed to humbly follow the LORD’s lead, to witness the formation of His abundance in my everyday life. It is not about me and anyone else, it is about me remaining connected to God’s vine so He organically grow the fruits of His Spirit on my well-connected branch. My one task each day is to abide in Him as He abides in me. God promises to take care of everything else. It would be a sad state of affairs if my daily life was based on my short-sighted attempts to be helpful, attempts driven by my anxious fears. God’s ways are gentle and enduring. My controlling ways simply are not.”
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Cathy’s comment: “Sue, your words today are so mind-blowingly PERFECT for me to hear….I pray to God to really hear them. Bless you for your brilliance and vulnerability and obedient listening. I love you and cannot wait to see you soon.”
My response: “Life itself is grace, but it is sometimes hard to ride God’s unpredictable wave without fear. I am so excited to be energized with you this week in Orlando!”
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Anne’s comment: “Sue, thank you this was the perfect message as I watch the way God is shaping the changing life in my son.”
My reply: “Witnessing God’s work in the life of our loved ones is such a blessed privilege. Letting go of our fearful urge to help, to fix, to make-all-better is a hard, daily challenge, but with God all things are possible. Our loved ones need God more than they need us. As we lean back to ‘witness’ the Creator caring for each beloved creature, God’s power expands to heal everyone, over time, in abundant ways. When we “help” because we cannot tolerate our own anxiety, we elbow the Savior out of the way, trying to rescue our loved ones from pain. What important learning God is orchestrating right now, growing our trust in the only true God who saves, heals, and empowers. I love that you are leaning back and witnessing God’s growth in the life of your son.”
Anne’s reply to my reply: “And it sure is hard! I am trying.”
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We are all trying to let go and let God, are we not? Anne is right, “And it sure is hard!”
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine” (Isaiah 55:8, NLT).
…Sue…
