Good morning…
“Many human relationships are like the interlocking fingers of two hands,” says Henri Nouwen in his 3.5.16 morning meditation. “Our loneliness makes us cling to each other, and this mutual clinging makes us suffer immensely because it does not take our loneliness away. But the harder we try, the more desperate we become. Many of these ‘interlocking’ relationships fall apart because they become suffocating and oppressive.”
Try this with me. Interlock your fingers and squeeze your hands together tight. This intense pressure is what we may feel in relationships that are symbiotic, boundaries are blurred and who I am gets messily mixed up in who you are. One can not breathe because the other fears being abandoned. The other feels suffocated, but is afraid of being alone. Clinging. Controlling. Crushing freedom. These enmeshed relationships cause tension and exhaustion, yet disentangling involves too much hard, painful work and too often we surrender to the dysfunctional pattern rather than surrendering to God’s ever present power to free.
In contrast, Nouwen continues, “Human relationships are meant to be like two hands folded together. They can move away from each other while still touching with the fingertips. They can create space between themselves, a little tent, a home, a safe place to be. True relationships among people point to God. They are like prayers in the world. Sometimes the hands that pray are fully touching, sometimes there is distance between them. They always move to and from each other, but they never lose touch. They keep praying to the One who brought them together.”
Now try this. Place the palms of your hands flat together, fingertips lifted to the LORD. Warmth, balance, and connection is created when we rest our palms on one another, holding our hands close to our heart. Separate and stable on their own, each hand can allow needed space and desired connection. Breath. Movement. Changing forms of contact from one moment to the next. When our fingertips touch tenderly, pointing up to God, the prayers growing out of our human relationships are a tangible source of life and love.
Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply, Romans 12:9-10a (MSG),
Sue
