Good morning…

Clinging to our heart’s desire can keep us from God’s abundant life. When Paula D’Arcy lost her husband and her young daughter to the carelessness of a drunk driver, she was three months pregnant. In deep despair she was forced to give birth six months later. The one thing her heart desired most was a natural childbirth, to bring her new baby into the world in the way she dreamed.

On page 38 in the Gift of the Red Bird, we meet Paula, a grieving mom and widow, on the day she is giving birth to her second child. “With full force of my will I command my body into labor. But it remains frozen. I am prepped for surgery and take myself off to the corner of the labor room, sit in a green wing chair and close my eyes. ‘God,’ I say. Just that. ‘God.’ I feel anger rising up. The words, ‘God, what do you want?’ finally come out. ‘What do you want from me? You have my husband. You have my daughter. I’m fighting so hard to accept my life as it is. To trust you. I haven’t asked for anything else except this natural birth. What more do you want from me?’

There is nothing but my tears for several moments. Then I hear a voice within me. The voice is distinct. Clear. Loving. It says, PAULA, I WANT YOU TO WANT ME MORE THAN YOU WANT ANYTHING.

Two or three nurses are moving around me. The anesthesiology is present, waiting. But my inner reality is suddenly more deafening than the everyday world of which I am a part. LOOK AT YOURSELF, I hear God gently saying. REALLY LOOK AT YOURSELF. SEE HOW YOU HOLD ONTO THINGS. WHATEVER COMES FIRST…WHATEVER YOU WANT MOST…WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO HAVE, BECOMES YOUR GOD. PUT ME FIRST. THAT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING.”

Do you hear God’s distinct, clear, loving voice whispering to you? LOOK AT YOURSELF. REALLY LOOK AT YOURSELF. SEE HOW YOU HOLD ONTO THINGS. WHATEVER COMES FIRST…WHATEVER YOU WANT MOST…WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO HAVE, BECOMES YOUR GOD. PUT ME FIRST. THAT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING.”

Therefore do not worry or be anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted), saying, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’ For the [pagan] Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; [but do not worry,] for your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also (Matthew 26:31-33, AMP).

…Sue…