Good morning…
One of my unraveling seasons happened in my mid-twenties. To give voice to my emerging self, I worked on a poem, month after month, a poem that described my inner wrestling match. In 2004, in the midst of another unraveling season following a life-altering move, I resurrected my authentic poem and self-published my first book, Scribbling a Masterpiece: Doddle to your Destiny. The following words scribbled into my unique, tiny book describe in living color the process of unraveling into more and more of our true selves.
When I was young, I quickly learned: “Praise, for coloring in the lines, is earned.”
Daddy or Ma-Ma or Nana would say, “What a beautiful picture!” when I did not stray.
When I expanded beyond the bounds set forth, their eyes said my artwork had lost its worth.
“What is this scribbling that you’ve done?” “It would look better if you hadn’t run…”
“…over the black line closing in the ‘right’ shape.” I always felt “bad” when my crayons escaped.
As I got older, I learned more to stay inside the lines defined someone else’s way.
I smiled a fake smile, whiting out any pain. I worked hard to remain in the acceptable frame.
But try as I might, I often slipped beyond. New life danced out of my crayon wands.
My crayons would skip! My crayons would swirl! God drew me into His colorful world.
But, up came the old voices… “MISTAKE!” I would rage.
“What’s this imperfection spewed all over the page?”
As I got even older, I lost control more. God rapped quite loudly on my identity’s door.
Pressure to “keep together” fought my need to “fall apart.”
A life and death battle ripped my growing up heart.
“I surrender to You, LORD. I’m torn to shreds at my seams.
I vomited at God’s feet the black-and-white of old dreams.
I was tear-drenched and hurting when God lifted my chin.
His eyes said, “You weren’t made to keep your true colors in.”
God dumped out my crayons. He empowered my hand.
Together, we scribbled toward the blessings He planned.
As my colors emerge I’m happy to say, “I’m glad I chose not to put my crayons away.”
Living between the lines is only one choice. That’s not the place where I’ve noticed God’s voice.
I’ve dabbled, expressed, doodled past the norm. I’ve learned more to create and less to perform.
An original has emerged in my “off limits” space. God’s inner colors now shade my outer face.
“What a beautiful picture!” is drawn out from within.
“For THIS I designed YOU,” my Master’s piece grins.
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven,” Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV),
Sue
