Seeing a God we do not understand.

5/9/2016
Good morning…

“When Kathleen Errico jolted awake at 3:45 a.m. on April 2, she knew something was terribly wrong. The light in her daughter’s room was on, and the television was blaring. ‘The TV would be a little bit louder when she was using,’ Errico told WCVB in Boston. Errico found her daughter, Kelsey Endicott, dead of an overdose. The 23-year-old, a mother herself, had been sober for 10 months. She was in a recovery program at the time, but the siren call of heroin was strong. ‘The disease of addiction is merciless,’ Errico would later write. ‘Kelsey did not want to leave this world.’ Endicott left behind a 2-year-old son, both of her parents, two sisters, a nephew, and grandparents.”

After reading this sad, sobering article in Woman’s Day on 4.14.16, I was drawn into prayer for this grieving family. The next day, I was emailing with a friend whose daughter had battled drug addiction for years and years. With her permission, I share her thoughts.

“If I have learned one thing through my Al Anon groups, it is that we can not change our children – we can only change ourselves. That is what my husband and I found – when we changed during the nightmare of our daughter’s heroin addiction, she changed. Sadly it took a very long time for us to figure that out, but by the grace, the understanding, and the steadfast love from our God – we finally were able to do it. Now our daughter is a loving mother of a 10 month old and is amazing at motherhood. She is proud that she is good at it. So, never, never give up hope no matter how dark it gets. If my daughter could get better – anyone can. For Valentine’s Day my daughter wrote: “Thank you for never giving up on me Mom.” I know God is in control, for today it is good, and I never take it for granted because it can change. One day at a time as we say in the program.”

Her final thought makes me ponder, “If God is in control when today is good, when an addict or a cancer patient or a mentally ill loved one is winning a hard fought battle, is God still in control when today is bad, when an addict like Kelsey takes her life and leaves behind a heartbroken family and a 2-year-old son?” Is God really in control during the good and bad times, when we are sometimes winning our battles and sometimes losing our wars?

Job in the Bible asks the same question, “Is God really in control when our life falls apart?” Job pummels God with “Whys?” for forty-one grueling chapters, then finally, Job answered God: “I’m convinced: You can do anything and everything. Nothing and no one can upset your plans. You asked, ‘Who is this muddying the water, ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?’ I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head,” Job 42:1-3 (MSG).

We are not designed to understand God. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord, Isaiah 55:8 (NIV). Praying passionately through times of not understanding God’s ways, we muddy the water, we ignorantly confuse the issue, and we second-guess God’s purposes. After wrestling with the LORD, day after day, Job finally surrenders control to the Creator of the universe, “I had heard of You [only] by the hearing of the ear, But now my [spiritual] eye sees You,” (v. 5). I think Job is really saying, “I still do not understand You, God, but I do KNOW You are with me. My spiritual eyes see You at work in my everyday life.”

Though we do not understand God’s thoughts, God’s ways, and God’s purposes, may we open our surrendered spiritual eyes to see the LORD at work this very day,

Sue