Good morning…
With some people, it feels like a sin to “ask.” Asking a question is like challenging authority. Asking for clarification means you are a bother. Asking about options can complicate matters and prolong a decision. With some people, asking for anything cracks the surface of their status quo and anger oozes out, messy and mean.
This weekend, my husband and I ran into an eleventh hour dilemma, a favor asked by a stranger to which our family simply could not say “yes.” I am grateful God has grown around me a family of friends who I can “ask,” ask for a favor, ask for ideas, ask for possibilities. My husband and I asked around to try to help this needy person out of her bind. We called or emailed a few friends, we talked face to face to others, and eventually an avenue opened up to solve her urgent problem. Pieces fit together and her last minute needs were met beautifully by God, not by me, not by my husband, not by our family, but by God living through a caring community.I thanked each person I felt free to “ask.” To one I wrote: “So, I love that I have friends who I can ask for help, ask for ideas, ask for support when a dilemma like this comes up. With honest, direct communication, people can say ‘No, I’m sorry, I can’t help on this one,’ people can say, ‘Yes, I am happy to meet that need,’ or people can offer alternative ideas and collaborate on possibilities. It is just so freeing to have the privilege of asking, so freeing to not feel bad or wrong or bothersome for asking. I am so grateful you are a friend I can freely ask.”
Through compassionate collaboration, God’s plan emerges, sturdy and strong. We can bypass God’s solution if we are too proud or too embarrassed to ask for help, if we bark out a “no” and cut short the conversation, or if we stay quietly compliant, not making waves, becoming a reluctant martyr, “I guess I personally have to save the day.” For God’s plans to fall into place, we need to tolerate the tension of no quick fix, to connect to community, and to wait for God’s Holy Spirit to piece together life’s puzzles.
But he must ask [for wisdom] in faith, without doubting [God’s willingness to help], for the one who doubts is like a billowing surge of the sea that is blown about and tossed by the wind (James 1:6, AMP).
…Sue…
