Good morning…

“Is grief ever really resolved?” I wonder to myself. The lives of some loved ones have ended abruptly. Others have endured a long, harsh season of dying. All are deeply missed by those who live on. As I walk alongside many grieving people, I wonder, “Is grief ever really resolved?”

‘Resolve’ is an interesting verb. In Latin, the root word means to untie or unfasten. To loosen or release. To dissolve or solve. In English ‘resolve’ is also multifaceted. To transform by a process. To solve or settle. To bring to a sucessful conclusion or reach a firm decision. To ‘resolve’ also means to separate into elementary parts or to break up, causing a hard mass to disintegrate. My mind mulls the question: “Is grief ever really resolved?”

Grief is a process with no time frame, no clear end point in sight. Grief is gradually transformative, an invitation to settle into peace with ‘what was,’ ‘what is,’ ‘what will be,’ over time. As we make a firm decision to grieve, it helps to separate our emotions into their elementary parts, breaking up our heart’s hardened mass into healable pieces. As time slowly passes, God guides our grief process, disintegrating our profound pain, releasing the life of our loved one into the life we now are living.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [healing their pain and comforting their sorrow] (Psalm 147:3, AMP).

…Sue…

P.S. Northside Church’s December newsletter announces our annual Hope and Healing Service. The article inviting the community to join our church family is written by our Pastoral Care Pastor, Dr. Ann Brightwell McCord. Offering wise advice for this holiday season, Dr. Ann separates into practical parts excerpts from Frontline by Dr. Alan Wolfelt.

1) Remember that love does not end with death.
2) Talk about your grief.
3) Be tolerant of your physical and psychological limits.
4) Eliminate unnecessary stress.
5) Be with supporting and comforting people.
6) Talk about the person who died.
7) Do what is right for you over the holidays.
8) Plan ahead for family gatherings.
9) Embrace your treasured memories.
10) Renew your resources for living.
11) Express your faith.

If you feel drawn to this sacred experience, our Hope and Healing Service may help to ‘resolve’ a few pieces of your grief.