Good morning…
“I must admit that I am THANKFUL to have another Thanksgiving behind me,” a subscriber from Charlotte, N.C. writes as she grieves the loss of her young adult son. “Yesterday was tough, and also were the days leading up to it. The anticipation alone puts me in a state of angst, frustration, sadness and anger, all within an hour!”
I asked Mary, whom I have never met, if I might share her honest reflection in our everyday blog, and she replied, “Thank you Sue, and of course. It’s such an amazingly cathartic and healing experience when the Spirit urges me to write. God has allowed me to write as a way to climb out of the darkness and back into the light, and for that, I am truly grateful!”
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Thanksgiving 2018 by Mary B. Waite
During this holiday season, my heart takes over and feels the pain, and ache, and sorrow, and I just have to trust God, and allow myself to feel it all. The holidays seem to magnify what is missing, and that my family has changed forever! The loss is so much greater than words can describe! I have now made it through the 3rd Thanksgiving without Dalton, and it has not gotten any easier! Yes, I am stronger, and have found periods of true peace and joy since his death, but that’s not to say that the pain lessens, or these family holidays are any easier. I think it’s a matter of learning to live with a wounded heart, a wound so deep within the soul that it won’t be healed during my lifetime. My hope for complete healing lies in the eternal. “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds…” (Jeremiah 30:17) I have learned to carry the loss, and am able to recover more quickly from these dark days, but the searing pain, and gut wrenching heartache remain…and I don’t think I ever want it to go away completely! There is something about feeling this pain, and continuing to allow God to help me move through it, that He uses to make me stronger!
I hope and pray that one day I won’t want to “just get through” the holidays, but I also can’t pretend that I don’t feel this way! I think God wants my authentic pain, and heartache, because it is in this exact place that God meets me, and does His best work! God has shown me that the light within me cannot be extinguished, but there are times when it will be faint, and other times it will burn bright. The Holy Spirit, the light, is always there within! He shows me that there is an abundance of light and love and joy within me that must be shared with others! There are so many that live in the darkness, whose light is faint. I believe we all have this pilot light within, and sometimes just need someone to come alongside, and help ignite it!
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5)
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Along life’s way, holiday grief is something many of us endure. We do not choose to lose people we love so dearly, yet God’s guiding light glows in our darkness. May the healing honesty passing through Mary’s pen fan into flame our own flicker of faith.
God’s light shines in our darkness, gently offering us time to heal: A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance (Ecclesiastes 3:4, NLT).
…Sue…
