Good morning…
“Thanks for going yesterday,” I texted a friend after her first visit to PAWkids as a homework helper. “I would love to unpack your feelings about the experience. Would be good for me to understand how you feel at Wellspring in comparison. (My friend also volunteers at Wellspring, a non-profit whose mission is to transform the lives of sex trafficking victims.) Learning ‘What is mine to do?’ is such an important part of our discernment process with God.”
“I have to tell you, Sue, I was not prepared for the level of lack of knowledge,” she replied. “You guys had told me that but I guess I just didn’t comprehend it. I got home and I felt so depressed, exhausted, upset, I don’t really know how to explain it. The fact that there are kids less than 10 miles from my house that can’t read or write and are just being passed along in school is INCOMPREHENSIBLE to me. How are these teachers and schools getting away with this? It’s no wonder the cycle of poverty continues in those areas.”
“I guess I concluded that what I did yesterday and what I saw you and the other homework helpers doing isn’t really making a difference,” she texted honestly. “I know you will beg to differ with me on that and I appreciate that. Those 15 minutes helping a child do their homework isn’t going to teach them how to do math or to read. They need so much more than that. I would have felt better if I hadn’t even touched their homework but had just gotten to read to them or play with them—that that was my job and not ‘being a tutor.’ Because I feel like I failed terribly at that job.”
“As for Wellspring, my role there is not to be their tutor or their therapist—-they already have those,” she explained. “My job is to go in and make them laugh and smile and forget about the awful things they have seen and done. We play games (mostly bingo because they LOVE bingo) and I take snacks—-good snacks— I bring pizza, gourmet ice cream bars, and soft drinks (they don’t have those at the center.)”
“Maybe I’m making it all about me and not about them and I’m willing to hear that,” she admitted. “As for PAWkids, for now, I’m happy to help fill in when we are in town and I’d love to help with projects they are doing and be involved in things like the gift bags, but I don’t think I want to commit to it on a regular basis. I’d also be happy to be involved in ways on a bigger picture level that help make a change in these schools. Not sure what that is…Thanks for reaching out.”
“I can relate to everything you have said here,” I texted back. “Processing feelings like these helps us to discern ‘God, what is mine to do?’ And, ‘God, what is not mine to do?’ When we are honest with ourselves, we can hear the movement of the Holy Spirit and be led toward the people, places, and purposes that make us come alive. And like Howard Thurman says, ‘The world needs people who have come alive!'”
“Your bond with the Wellspring women sounds fantastic and fun!” I admired. “I love our friendship and the growth we encourage in one another.”
“Thank you for listening!” she responded.
“Happy Sabbath,” I texted my friend a few days later. “I feel like God is leading me to share our text string anonymously in a blog post to show people how it feels to be drawn to ‘what is mine to do’ and to be turned off by ‘what is not mine to do.’ When we don’t feel peace, when we get frustrated more than filled up, we might be learning, ‘This is not mine to do,’ at least for right now. Following the ‘sound of the genuine in us,’ as Howard Thurman describes God’s still small voice, we sense the Spirit bringing alive, bit by bit, the vibrant life that is ours to live.”
“When we give cheerfully, generously, with a fun full heart (like you do at Wellspring) everyone benefits and God’s living presence becomes more real to all of us,” I affirmed. “Pray about the possibility of sharing our words and let me know your thoughts.”
“Of course!” she replied later. “You know I believe God speaks through you in a very special way, and if you feel led to share, I am happy with that. Have a beautiful Sabbath.”
…love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life… (Deuteronomy 30:20, NIV).
…Sue…
P.S. I was actually grateful for yesterday’s glitch in the link we shared in out blog post We Receive As We Give. Because the link given did not work correctly, many of you reached out to me with questions. I caught a glimpse of the Holy Spirit moving in the heart of our written word community.
As opposed to my friend in the blog post above, one of the other homework helpers had a totally different experience at PAWkids. After being with the kids, Leigh Jones felt inspired by God to set up an Amazon account for interested people to joyfully donate new books to the PAWkids library in honor of Black History Month. “These books celebrate inclusivity and will allow the PAWkids to see themselves on the page,” says Leigh. She reworked the link so that people now can send their donated books directly to Leigh’s mailing address. She will take these encouraging books to PAWkids as soon as they arrive.
If you feel drawn to cheerfully and generously give to support the education of some of the poorest kids in our community, please touch on this link:
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/dl/invite/9K4cpKe?ref_=wl_share
What a joy it is to discern together, “God, what is mine to do?”
