2:00 am

Good morning…

After texted about My Rough Re-entry, my friend responded with life-giving words.

“You are carrying the load,” she noticed, “yoking with so many.”

“This morning I read a Kate Bowler devotional (my Lenten practice) from _Good Enough_,” my friend explained. “She wrote about this idea: Sometimes there are two selves – a 2:00 am self (the one who thinks about challenges – family, kids, spouse, money, work, health, etc.) vs. the 2:00 pm self (the one who is pulled together, performing, working). Sometimes we are a 2:00 am person a little more of the time and sometimes a 2:00 pm person more of the time. She discusses this through the lens of her cancer treatment and noticing we share space with others who are their 2:00 am selves more at times because of what is on their plates, in their lives.”

“I think I am in a chapter when I am a 2:00 am person most of the time,” she admitted. “And that is okay.”

“Enjoy the re-entry period,” she concluded, “going deeper not wider.”

“I love this concept,” I replied. “During our ten day trip to Israel, I felt the joy of being my 2:00 pm self, exploring, learning, walking with others on paths Jesus actually walked. There was something so grounding and strengthening there.”

“Returning home, my 2:00 am self is catching up on all the needs of our community,” I realized. “Going deeper not wider is great advice. Deepening down beneath God’s big, wide wings, I surrender all. Deeper into God, not wider into the worries of the world, this is the direction of peace, freedom, salvation. I release hurting loved ones and suffering strangers into the care of Almighty God, the only One who has the power to heal, to guide, to transform us all in his time and in his way.”

“I love the honest conversations of our 2:00 am selves,” I texted my gratitude. “Your words are like God’s voice with skin on. Our friendship means so very much to me.” Thanks be to the Lord, who daily carries our burdens for us. God is our salvation. Selah (Psalm 68:19, GW).

In Hebrew, Selah means to praise, to lift up, to pause. I admire the colorful sun rising to dispel our darkness.

I praise.

I lift up.

I pause.

…Sue…

sunrise