Good morning…
“We are not helping our children by always preventing them from what might be a necessary falling,” writes Richard Rohr on page 28 of Falling Upward, “because you learn how to recover from falling by falling! It is precisely by falling off the bike many times that you eventually learn what the balance feels like. The skater pushing both right and left eventually goes where he or she wants to go. People who have never allowed themselves to fall are actually off balance, while not realizing it at all. That is why they are so hard to live with. Please think about that for a while.”
So, as our Monday afternoon class gathered in our living room, we “thought about that” aloud for a while. Off balance people trying madly to maintain a perfect facade can easily act superior, can often cast critical judgement, and can subtly or not-so-subtly exert “my way or the highway” control. This is the thanatos energy we learned about last week, where “there will be gossip, cynicism, and mistrust hiding behind every interaction” versus God’s eros energy which grows compassion and community, “always draws, creates, and connects things” (quotes from page xiv). Through our conversation an important story surfaced. One woman shared an exchange she had years ago on the sidelines of a sports field.
One mom proudly bragged, “My son has never lost a game in his entire sports career.”
To that our friend quietly responded, “I’m so sorry.”
As a class listening to her surprising reply, we laughed and we learned a deeper truth. To help our kids to learn the balance in life, we ourselves need to make peace with “falling and recovering from falling,” while at the same time giving space and freedom to our loved ones as they learn to “recover from falling by falling.” As we stumble and fall into the unconditional eros love of LORD, we eventually rely on the inner strength of God’s Spirit, learning to stand empowered on our own set of imperfect feet.
Calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?” (Mark 8:34-37, MSG).
…Sue…
P.S. “Falling and recovering from falling” is a life skill that takes time and courage for each of us to master with God. Talking with others about this lifelong learning process grows up our souls. If you live in the Atlanta area, please consider joining us for the first in our five-week “Crucial Conversation” series at Northside Church this Sunday, the 20th, from 5:00 to 6:30 pm in the chapel.
This week, my dear friend, therapist Martha Tate, and her long time therapist friend, Don Durkee, will be tackling the tough topic of MENTAL HEALTH. Encouraging us to develop healthy daily habits for ourselves, Martha will discuss ways to rewire our anxious, depressive, stressed-out brains through simple practices designed to nurture us, body and soul. Then Don will discuss what happens when things begin to roll in an unhealthy direction. Having taught college-level classes on this topic, Don will lay out with us the complex landscape of suicidal thought as it slowly snowballs to impact us, our loved ones, and our community. The time for these courageous conversations is now, as last week our community was rocked again when another 16-year-old from a nearby high school took his life.
It is so important we grow together as part of the solution for those suffering with mental health issues, those struggling with suicidal thoughts and feelings. I would love to see many of you at the Northside Church chapel on Sunday nights for the next five weeks from 5:00 to 6:30 pm as we host crucial conversations on MENTAL HEALTH, ADDICTION, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, and FINANCIAL BALANCE. For more information, please visit the church website. Come and bring friends to one, some, or all of these life-giving talks.
