Good morning…
As the Holy Spirit slows down our pace, we pause and look left. Where were we when the God’s glitches began wreaking havoc? Together we were diving deep into the valley of depression. After a rash of suicides, school shootings, and violence at home and abroad, concerned people are commenting, “We must closely consider the collective and personal state of our mental health.” God was leading us down into depression’s dark valley and guiding us back up with tender treasures to share.
Looking left, I see footprints of where we were walking. Some depression is primarily genetic or biochemical, needing medication, some is primarily situational, needing healing inner work, and some depression lies in-between, requiring both medication and intensive inner work (see post Depression Varies). Why some people “make it through” a season of clinical depression and why others do not is a mystery, leaving us and our loved ones feeling powerless in the midst of severe suffering (see post Making Peace With Mystery). Two words describe my own slow walk down and up through the valley of suicidal suffering. Heavy and hollow, that’s how I felt (see post Heavy and Hollow). We feel fear and shame as sharing our hollow heaviness. Will people think less of me? Will they back away? Will I be abandoned if I tell my painful truth? (see post I Feel Like Jerry Maguire). Our protective layers are very important. With peripheral people, we share less. Our inner circle friends we invite the to join us, seeking compassionate care as we shuffle along through depression’s valley (see post Cloudy Balanced Layers). As I went through my suffering season, my husband and four kids were not the cause or my saving cure. My battle was with God, painfully, personally. God was the only One to “get me through,” reconnecting me to the land of the living (see Deeper, Deeper Still). Seems to me God’s enemy felt threatened by our deep honesty, so God’s enemy temporarily pulled our technical plug (see posts God Is In Our Glitches and Pause. Pay Attention).
As I pause, look left to where we have been, then envision myself connecting to you now, eye-to-eye, I remember three quotes from Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts Of Imperfection.
- “When we are looking for compassion, we need someone who is deeply rooted, able to bend, and, most of all, we need someone who embraces us for our strengths and our struggles. We need to honor our struggle by sharing it with someone who has earned the right to hear it. Then we’re looking for compassion, it’s about connecting with the right person at the right time about the right issue.” (11)
- “Shame need three things to grow out of control in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgement. When something shaming happens and we keep it locked up, it festers and grows. It consumes us. We need to share our experience. Shame happens between people and it heals between people. If we can find someone who has earned the right to hear our story, we need to tell it. Shame loses power when it is spoken.” (40)
- “…in order to deal with shame, some of us move away by withdrawing, hiding, silencing ourselves, and keeping secrets. Some of us move toward by seeking to appease and please. And some of us move against by trying to gain power over others, by being aggressive, and by using shame to fight shame… Most of us use all of these – at different times with different folks for different reasons. Yet all of these strategies move us away from our story. Shame is about fear, blame, and disconnection. Story is about worthiness and embracing the imperfections that bring us courage, compassion, and connection. If we want to live fully, without the constant fear of not being enough, we have to own our story.” (46)
I am not surprised that God’s enemy tried to pull the plug on our sacred sharing, yet our God will not be silenced. LORD, Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue; I will proclaim your greatness. Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness; they will sing with joy about your righteousness. The Lord is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love (Psalm 145:6-8, NLT).
…Sue…
