Good morning…
After I asked a clarifying question, she said I was being rude. “Rude” was not my intention, but her strong reaction gave me pause. She felt judged by my inquiry. Thinking about it later, I felt convicted. I had brought up her past mistake and opened an old wound. To her that felt like judgement. I began to see from her perspective.
So up in the middle of the night, I processed my strong emotions. Regret. Disappointment in myself. I would take back my words if I could, but, like a scared cat let out of a bag, my comment was out there wreaking havoc. To work through my unsettling feelings, I got out my Soul Collage stuff – pre-cut magazine images, scissors, glue stick, 5×9 card stock, transparent sleeves – and began to playfully create.
The first card I made is the one above. I wrote on the back: “I am one who… remembers what it feels like to be given grace freely, to be fully forgiven for a messy mistake, not having my flaw brought up again and again. The white carpet was magically wiped clean of the ugly, large coffee stain I had accidentally spilled all over. The supernatural grace of God channelling through a person always feels so surprising, so nurturing, so healing. Freed from the jail of judgement, we sit with our true selves imperfectly weathered.”
I remembered my favorite definition of grace. “There is nothing I can do to make God love me more and nothing I can do to make God love me less.” God’s love is constant, unconditional, independent of my actions, good or bad. What freedom! I wrapped myself in the tangible grace of God as I made these next two Soul Collage cards.
On the back of the card on the left I wrote: “I am one who… softly swaddles my soul like a crying baby who falls asleep, held, loved, effortlessly at home. The grace of God is the womb that nurtures the true self in the pouch of me. I am swaddled in grace. God swaddles my soul and gestates me whole.”
On the back of the card on the right I wrote: “I am one who… is lifted out of the inner pit of fear dragging me down into lurking imagined dangers. My fears can be so powerful, so scary, so overwhelming. But God keeps my head above the deep waters as I pray in unison with the Holy Spirit. I am prayerfully beneath the people I love – giving the gift of God’s grace as I am buoyed from my depths. From my many jagged layers, God patches together a space of support where others can walk through the rainstorms of life.”
A friend said to me last weekend, “When you feel really strong emotions, I think these Soul Collage cards help you to return to a place of hope.” With renewed hope, I asked for forgiveness from the person I unintentionally offended. We shared a hug the next day, an embrace of grace.
I think my friend is right. Being called “rude” got my attention and made me feel disappointed in myself. With the help of these Soul Collage cards, I weathered the rainstorm of my dark emotions, creatively finding my way back a place of grace and buoyed hope.
The Eternal One will be all the light you ever need.
Your God will provide your glory, brilliance for all time.
Your sun will never set;
your moon will never be eclipsed in shadow,
For you’ll bask in the Eternal’s light and silver splendor forever.
Never again will you suffer the dark night of despair and gloom of mourning (Isaiah 60: 19b, 20, VOICE).
The footnote for these verse reads: “The prophet is inspired by the spirit of God to restore hope, to help, and to comfort. As a spiritual guide he is compelled to convince people that God remains with them and that He still desires what is good, right, and true for and within them.”
These Soul Collage cards have become like an inspiring prophet to me, like a spiritual guide restoring my hope after a dark night of despairing. Now I return to more of my true self, resting at home in the grace of God. Basking and buoyed, the Eternal One will be all the light I will ever need.
…Sue…
P.S. Thanks to the generosity of many following yesterday’s blog post, I was able to pay the registration fee for the Soul Collage facilitator training in North Carolina this July. At Northside Church, we will be hosting a Soul Collage gathering one Wednesday each month from 12:00 to 2:00 pm. All are welcome. Stay tuned for details. Thank you for supporting this hopeful, healing edge of me.
