Good morning…
Several of you have asked for a copy the final chapel message given by my husband Steve as he leaves the role of head chaplain at The Lovett School after twenty-nine years. I share it with you now, an encouraging message for all of us, whatever our life stage, wherever we wake. Controversy is an unavoidable part of life. How, my friends, might we respond?
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Final All School Closing Chapel – May 10, 2024 – “What To Do When Life Gives You a Bookshelf Controversy” by Rev. Steve Allen – based on Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and Matthew 22:36-40
I want to begin this final all school chapel message, with a confession. I don’t think it would be right to stand before you today without getting something off my chest and it’s this – I’m mad at my mother. I know I shouldn’t be mad, she’s 92 years old, but I was on the phone with her not too long ago and, as we were talking, I told her I couldn’t find the keys to my car and you know what she said to me? She said “Do you remember where you had them last?” And I thought to myself, “That’s the problem, if I knew where I had them last, then I’d be able to find them now.”
But, it shouldn’t have surprised me, my mom has always had this tendency to say things that sometimes I just don’t want to hear. For instance, when I was visiting last summer, she served us beets. Now I don’t like beets. Never have. But when my mom saw that I wasn’t eating my beets she said, “Why don’t you put some butter on those?” Butter, it was my mom’s answer to every food that I don’t like.
But, those are just a couple of examples of my mom’s little sayings. She’s always had a million little snippets of wisdom to guide and direct my life. And I’ve heard them all a million times. But then, maybe you know what I’m talking about. Maybe you too have a mom or a dad who says things like:
– Look people in the eye when you’re talking to them.
– Don’t invite yourself over to other people’s houses.
– You’ll put someone’s eye out with that thing.
– Chew with your mouth closed.
– Take your vitamins.
– Don’t run with scissors.
– Cover your mouth when you cough.
– Money doesn’t grow on trees.
– And – If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
– Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.
But, the one I want to tell you about – is the one my mom said to me when I was graduating from seminary. I was heading off to take my first job. I got this nice new big black robe. I got ordained which meant that people could start calling me “Reverend” Allen. It was all very exciting. But I was also really nervous. I’d never been a minister before. I didn’t really know what to expect. So I decided I needed to talk to someone who had been a minister, someone who could give me really good advice about what to do and how to do it.
So, I went to talk to the minister at my church – who just so happened to be my dad. I knew he’d have all the answers. I remember we met in the kitchen at our house, and I took with me “these.” These are the notebooks with all the notes that I’d taken in seminary. Minister’s notes. I have notes in here about how to teach the Bible. There are notes about preaching – and notes about counseling. It’s all right here. So, I took all of this with me. And my dad and I began to talk. We were having a really great meeting – when, in the midst of all of this, guess who walked into the room – my mom – and wouldn’t you know it she said one of those things she always says – like the one about my car keys – only this time as she walked through the room she said softly – “You really only need to remember one thing as you head into your new job.” I leaned in a little closer to hear because she was talking so softly. Then she said, “Just love people.” “Excuse me,” I said. She said it again, “Just love people.” I remember thinking to myself, “OK mom – thanks.”
And I turned my attention back to my dad and we spent the next couple of hours talking about the stuff that really mattered. Church government and finances, and how to teach hard Bible passages. And when I got up to leave, I was prepared. I was gonna be the best minister there ever was.
Anyhow, I went off and took my new job and I remember that a few months into it we had our first big church board meeting. Things were going along fine until this one Sunday school teacher stood up and said she was mad because the bookshelf that she’d always used had been taken over by another teacher. The other teacher said the bookshelf was hers – then these two Sunday school teachers started arguing over who was gonna get that bookshelf. And then things really started to heat up. They were getting really mad at each other, and I was getting mad at them, and then they started getting mad at me. Then we all started saying things we probably shouldn’t have been saying.
At that point, I was trying to remember what my notes from seminary had to say about this. The problem was that I couldn’t remember taking a class on Bookshelf Controversies. And my dad hadn’t told me anything about it either. I didn’t know what to do. Then I heard a familiar voice say three simple words. “Just Love People.” I looked around to see who’d said it. Then I heard it again. “Just Love People.” And then I realized it was my Mom. It was her voice inside my head, telling me what to do in the midst of this horrible situation. “Just Love People?”
What? I had all these notebooks, not to mention four years of high school, four years of college, three years of seminary – and one year I took off so that I could “mature.” There had to be a better answer than this silly little simplistic piece of advice to “Just Love People?” But I didn’t know what else to do. So, I figured I’d give it a try.
Now, to be honest with you, I don’t really remember exactly what we did about that bookshelf. But somehow those words helped me see the people in that room differently. Somehow those words changed my anger and resentment to grace. I remember those words changed me from someone who was scared and frustrated into a person who was going to try to deal with this problem in a loving, compassionate way.
Perhaps this is why when Jesus was asked for the most important commandment, even though he had the entire Old Testament to pull from, even though he had 613 laws from Jewish tradition that he could cite, he boiled it all down to one simple concept. Love. Love God, love yourself and love your neighbor. I think what Jesus was calling us to do, quite simply, was for us to “Just Love People.”
So, what does that have to do with us here at the Lovett School. I imagine you might be sitting here right now thinking the same thing I was thinking about my mom – OK Rev. Allen – we know we’re supposed to love people. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. But I want you to consider this – you have all been filled with knowledge and stuffed with information so that you can succeed in the world. Lovett’s done a great job of that. You have some of the best teachers you could get anywhere in the world. You have notebooks jam packed with information that’s important and necessary. But somewhere along the line all the notes in the world may not be able to help you when you encounter your own Bookshelf Controversy.
– Kindergartners, what are you going to do when you have a play date and your friend says she doesn’t want you playing with her stuff?
– 3rd graders, what will you do when a classmate cuts the line or won’t take turns on the playground or doesn’t play fair in a game of tag during recess?
– Middle Schoolers, what will you do when you’re at camp and the kid in the bunk next to you is messy, smells and is really getting on your nerves?
– Upper Schoolers, what will you do when you get betrayed by someone you thought was your friend, or a coach won’t play you, or a classmate doesn’t like you?
– Parents, what are you going to do this summer when your kids say they’re bored for the thousandth time or you’re tired of spending time with your in laws at the beach?
– Seniors, what are you going to do when your roommate won’t go to sleep the night before your first big college test or a hall mate who won’t turn down their music or you have a professor who’s not as nice as your teachers as Lovett. What will you do then? What do we do when all the things we’ve learned won’t solve all the problems we’re facing? What do we do when life gives us our own personal Bookshelf Controversy?
Well, call me crazy – but what if my mom was onto something that’s probably not in our notes. What if we allowed those three simple words to melt our anger – shrink our irritation – eliminate our frustration – calm our hearts and soothe our souls. Lovett friends, I invite you to take all the lessons and notes you’ve learned here, out there. Take them into your summers – take them to your camps – take them on your trips to the beach. Take them to college with you when you go – but as we end this year – and as you leave – some of us for the last time – what if in addition to all the important stuff that you learned at Lovett, you went out into the world with the best advice I can give you. They’re words that come by way of the Bible and my mom and now they come from me. When life gives you a Bookshelf Controversy, remember to “Just Love People.”
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Above all, have fervent and unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins [it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others] (1 Peter 4:8, AMP).
…Sue…
