Dark Night Of Our Soul

Good morning…

This has never happened to me before. I spent diligent time discerning our morning message in the middle of yesterday’s dark night, then I unconsciously drifted to sleep on the couch where I write. I woke, climbed in bed, woke again, then headed into a very full day.

“We didn’t get your blog today,” my dad wrote from Ohio at 10:14 am. “Please re-send it.”

As I sorted through my emails, I realized that I had never received it either. Did I not send it out? I came home between meetings midday. Sure enough. I had written the message, but I never programmed the Mailchimp email. I never pushed “send.” The words of wisdom never traveled from me to you.

What might this mean, God? Just a mistake or is there a slowing down, giving space, breathing a bit that you quietly orchestrated?

Into the unexpected space given, I did receive an email from a friend at 10:00 am, an email entitled Dark Night. My unseen message was entitled A Dark Night Of The Soul. Weird coincidence or might God be connecting important dots?

*****

Our unsent email:

“Like darkness itself, the dark night of the soul means different things to different people,” in class I read aloud from page 133 in Learning to Walk in the Dark, by Barbara Brown Taylor. “Some use the phrase to describe the time following a great loss, while others remember it as the time leading up to a difficult decision. Whatever the circumstances, what the stories have in common is their description of a time when the soul was severely tested, often to the point of losing faith, by circumstances beyond all control. No one chooses the dark night; the dark night descends. When it does, the reality that troubles the soul most is the apparent absence of God.”

“Raise your hand if you’ve ever experienced a dark night of the soul,” I said to our class. Out of the ten women, ten hands shot up. I was surprised. I mistakingly thought that my own excruciatingly dark night, descending from 2003 to 2005, was somehow unusual.

As we unpacked our experiences, different circumstances surrounded our dark nights. Facing a life-threatening diagnosis with a loved one. Struggling through a divorce. Grieving the death of a spouse, a parent, a child. The disconnection of loneliness. The devastating betrayal of lies. An uprooting move. A beloved life stage ending. The estrangement of a prodigal child. “No one chooses the dark night; the dark night descends.” We all agreed with Barbara.

After our candid discussion, we decided to put our mixed emotions into positive action. We went inside our basement and, filling colorful bags with various comfort items, we created fifteen welcome bags for the women attending the Ignatian Spirituality Project (ISP) retreat today and tomorrow at Ignatius House Retreat Center. These women have also battled through dark nights of the soul, seeking to heal from homelessness and addiction.

Help each other. Speak day after day to each other while it is still today so your heart will not become hard… (Hebrews 3:13, NLV).

As we finished class, we put the bags in my car and took them to Ignatius House. These bags, filled with tangible tokens of God’s love, will welcome the women into their private retreat rooms.