Good morning…
“Good morning, Sue,” a friend texted on Wednesday. “I’m not sure if you have heard, but Bernell’s son, Sam, took his life a few days ago. Devastating and painful for Bernell, I’m sure. I don’t have his home address, so I thought I would take a card and flowers to the polo fields.”
“Oh, I am so sad,” I replied. “I love talking to Sam and Bernell. They are two of the people I see most regularly, face to face, most every day as I walk our dogs to and from the horse farm.”
For years Sam and Bernell, a humble, hardworking father-son team, have managed the grounds of the horse farm on Polo Lane. If you have ever gone on a walk-and-talk with me to that sacred place, we have probably stopped and talked or at least given a wave to Sam (in his mid 50s) and Bernell (in his late 80s). They were inseparable best friends, especially since Bernell’s wife died about five years ago. To think of Bernell without Sam feels impossible, heartbreaking, so deeply devastating.
To show our support as a community of dog walkers, horse caretakers, and regular visitors to the polo fields, a group of about twenty of us went to church with Bernell yesterday at Liberty Baptist Church in Winston, GA. It was delightful to meet other friendly, faithful people who have also loved Sam and Bernell well for years. The Sunday service was uplifting and encouraging, filled with the Spirit of our living Lord. Afterwards we went back to Bernell’s home, the same home where Sam had taken his life earlier in the week. It was a blessing to be together, saturating the walls with our genuine love. We had a good ole fashion potluck lunch and, blowing out candles and enjoying Sam’s favorite homemade strawberry cheesecake, we sang “happy birthday” to Sam who turned 56 years old year old yesterday, in heaven, with Jesus.
In the midst of the life-giving church service, Bernell announced to the whole congregation, “This is my family!” referring to the group of us from the polo fields. Like family, we will continue to support this dearly loved man, as we grieve together the loss of Sam’s presence on earth.
I am reminded of a comment made by one of the speakers at Jessica Martin’s service last month. Jessica’s long time friend said, “My counselor is helping me to see that anxiety and depression are like cancer. Cancer is an illness, and it can kill you. Anxiety and depression can kill you too. Sadly, that’s what happened to Jess.”
I think to myself, “Addictions are the same. Addictions are like cancer. Cancer is an illness, and it can kill you. Addictions can kill you too. Sadly, that’s what happened to Sam.”
But the Lord said to Samuel… “God doesn’t look at things like humans do. Humans see only what is visible to the eyes, but the Lord sees into the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7, CEB).
…Sue…
